I really like that you can look back on all of this now and see the dysfunction for what it was, while still being able to appreciate the good that came from the relationship. There’s something really powerful about being able to say “I still love this person” without feeling like that means you need to let them back into your life.

I’ve had a relationship that I look back on in a similar way. It was painful and it changed me in ways I didn’t like, but with enough distance I’ve been able to recognize what it taught me and use it to grow into a better version of myself. Sometimes the relationships that hurt us the most end up teaching us the most about ourselves, our boundaries, and what we will and won’t accept going forward. Thanks for sharing!

Glad you are a strong woman to know to leave something that wasn’t good no matter how much you loved him

From what you've written here,he's a manipulator trying to test your boundaries to see if he can worm his way back into your life. He doesn't deserve your attention. He cares about bees and ants,good for him. That does nothing to soothe the feeling of anxiety that someone can just flip on a dim and exhaust your nervous system until you feel powerless. He has no right to impose himself into your life,your body remembers. I hope he stubs his toes,bites his tongue ,falls face down in public and gets laughed at by children.

I wouldn't respond back because that just cracks to door open so he can work his way back into your life.
Abusive relationships tend to have this cycle.