What defect of character in yourself prevents you from having a successful long term relationship?

I think for me it's a lack of trust and fear. I've most always been alone so maybe it's too hard to adapt. My internal anger over things outside my control are things I work on being aware of. A lot of the memories of my dad's inability to control his anger still frightens me. I didn't cry at his funeral. I don't fight. Communication is a challenge having had little experience in my younger years. Envy goes along with the fear and it doesn't take much to make me feel unsettled. Memories of a layoff and the divorce as well as struggling to be a single parent and watching someone I cared deeply for die of cancer. I don't drink, just never cared for the stuff. Seeing the difficulties that my friends kid is going through in recovery is enough to convince me to stay away from chemicals. Sleep is the best cure for most things. My anxiety levels are much lower now. Probably changed when my son graduated years ago. Reading Tolle helped a lot too plus dumping most religion. I guess after studying it intensely for many years and discovering one falacy after another it finally dawned on me that enough is enough. Let's just keep it a mystery. I'm not a beautiful person, I don't have the coordination to be an athlete, the timing, patience, or interest to be a musician and I get faint around blood. I live simply and share my bread with the birds and squirrels.