I suffer from a condition called vaginismus. Due to this penetration is near to impossible, let alone painful. Was in an unconsummated marriage for 1.5 years which ended in divorce. It is a psychosomatic problem.
I suffer from vulval pain which is related to painful bladder syndrome. If I have sex it causes the painful bladder to flare up. So I also have problems. You are not alone.
That's very sad. But surely a caring loving man could bring much pleasure and satisfaction to a woman with this condition by gentle and prolonged attentions of an external type. Sexual activity between lovers = giving and receiving physical plessure, and that isn't just about penetration.