I Am Married But Lonely

I say that by experience my self. Went through it also. Best thing I did was walk away . First few months really sucked but within 6 months I was glad . Happier than I ever thought. That said I did not have kids involved. That would have changed things alot. Being to walk away from her would also ben in some way walking away from them. There is no way. I would have let her force me out of my kids daily lifes. If thats the case stay. If she doe’s it again or continues. I think I would make it clear very clear . Your not going to leave your kids. But any relationship with her is over. She will eventually leave . But you will keep the most important thing. At this point the kids are more important than any thing else. Be a great father. Do Not fight argue with her in front of your kids. Love them with all your heart. Once you raised great kids . They are on there own. The things you want in your life you can get. At least one parent has to do the rite thing. If she has betrayed the family. ( not just you) . You can put hope in her seeing the light. I wouldn’t put trust in it at all. Your responsibility is the lifes you brought into the world . Put you effort into being father of the century.

I have one son I was 42 when he was born. There is nothing my wife could do to get me to leave Him. Don’t get me wrong I love her as well. He is more important than her. If parents both put there kids best intrest above there own crap like what your dealing with wouldn’t happen. Your in this because she put her selfish intrests above her childrens. To me there is a special place in hell for those type of people. You have kids . Your intrests are second to them. Your moral responsibility is do every thing you do in there best intrest. Again if you feel you were betrayed. She betrayed your kids even worse. To upset there family strength, there safety security. Was way worse than your trust, Your responsibility here is not fixing her. Its to your kids. Her responsibilty is to fix her self. She may do that. The trust you once had. Will never be the same don’t kid your self, That doesn’t mean you can’t get past it if she truly changes. Just means her choices have changed your relationship for ever. It possibly could be good. But never the same. Full trust not possible. The doubt will always rise again. Even if it never happens again. My point is if your a father poor all you love and effort into your kids. I say that as a 55yo man that had a absent father . That had very negitive effects that lasted until my 30s . Drugs drinking not letting anyone close to me. Studys show you the father . Matter more . If your a loving father involved daily in there lifes as children. Do not let her ever push you out. Hope that helps. You want love, your kids are full of that for you. Go get it DAD!!!!!

The other side of the coin is that if you remain closed to her, she may hurt you again out of her own desperation. That distance you still feel between you, may be her hoping and waiting for you to set her free from guilt. Grace and mercy means extending yourself into vulnerability for the good of the relationship. It's addressing the part of the marriage vows that say, for better OR FOR WORSE. Set her free and you may end up with a greater marriage than you ever imagined.

If/when the time is right, that you feel like you can begin trusting again, then the wall can slowly come down. You'll know if/when in your heart.

It can be tough to break that cycle and make yourself vulnerable again 🤗

Until you feel it's safe, keep that wall up.

I think walls bring safety but you have to let good people behind the walls.

Ohhh if she cheeted it will happen again. She will do a better job of covering it up.

Don’t trust her?