I Am Married But Lonely
Married 30+ years and I feel that the only purpose I have is to maintain my wife. It feels like the room mate that I have to cover
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PoetryNEmotion · F
Sounds sexless. I don't think marriage = roommates. Sounds like she has a free ride. You have choices. Live this way until one of you dies. Or divorce and be free. Find someone else. Or cheat. I don't recommend this. Or have an open relationship. Chances are if you are married this long and your wife is the refuser, she won't agree to it. Many people are starting over at your age. Consult a lawyer. Freedom is a clear choice. I did it. Others have. Think on it.
rfhh1959 · 61-69, M
@PoetryNEmotion You understand my choices and finances come into play at this point
SageWanderer · 70-79, M
@PoetryNEmotion But I can't blame her because of illness. It is hard to have a great sex life come to an abrupt end.
PoetryNEmotion · F
@rfhh1959 Been there. Done that. Three decades. Won't do it again. What does money really matter when you are so unhappy? Then keep your money and exist the way you do. It is your life. I am offering practical advice. You have how many years left? 15-20. What will you do with them?
rfhh1959 · 61-69, M
@SageWanderer Had to have a great sex life when someone decide they are done with it
PoetryNEmotion · F
@SageWanderer No one who has no intimacy is happy about it except the refuser. I wasn't commenting on your situation. I know little about it. I was commenting on what little he posted. People can complain all they want. It won't change by complaints. It changes from action. You get to choose the action.
SageWanderer · 70-79, M
@rfhh1959 We have a little different circumstances. My first marriage became much like what you describe. Add to that verbal and emotional abuse. I walked.
SageWanderer · 70-79, M
@PoetryNEmotion I understand what everyone is saying. I'm just adding and venting again.
PoetryNEmotion · F
@SageWanderer Did you regret leaving it? And what did you learn from it? That is what is important.
PoetryNEmotion · F
@SageWanderer It is fine to vent. You cannot hold in what you feel. It is beyond words to live in a relationship especially long-term with no intimacy. I wouldn't want that.
SageWanderer · 70-79, M
@PoetryNEmotion The only regret that I have from the first marriage was I didn't do it sooner. I tried to save things for the sake of a child. Until I saw the child was getting destroyed too.
PoetryNEmotion · F
@SageWanderer Exactly. That is my only regret from my first marriage-that I stayed so long and tried to fix something that wasn't my fault. Children don't need parents who don't love one another. They don't need to live in an atmosphere like that. That is not an example to role model to them. And after the children have gone? Why should two people live unhappily until the day one of them dies? Choices.
PoetryNEmotion · F