Anxious
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I did not expect that...

I am married and last week this guy said he has feelings for me... I was shocked, and scared, I told him to stay away from me and my life...since then I have'nt been able to sleep well.
Futuremirror · 36-40, M
It's the game some guys or even girls play on other people who are already in a relationship.
Step one. Get it into their mind.
Step two. Wait and see.
He purposely mentioned it to you and if you continue be nice to him or befriend with him. He may see it as a crack to slide in, any vulnerable time. If you really don't want it than you must draw the red line.
Completely cut off. In my experience around, this is how things eventually develop and progress. You should not care, how he feels to be honest
Futuremirror · 36-40, M
@Smartygirl24 He is married too? Than he is struggling with just infatuation. Nothing less or more. Like@sunriselover mentioned, he will move on.
@Smartygirl24 But you know it would. Two marriages at risk, and children too.

I’ve had female friends at work, but we have never declared romantic feelings. That is where the trouble begins, and it gets messy.
Smartygirl24 · 31-35, F
@sunriselover yes I know😔
I was once told by someone out of the blue that they loved me platonically, friendly , romantically, any way I wanted. The latter was retracted the next day. But that was the INTERNET. It does that to people. And of course in real life they moved on with someone new. I wish her well.
Smartygirl24 · 31-35, F
@sunriselover so u think he is lying?
@Smartygirl24 He wants to get you into bed, it will lead nowhere but hurt.
Smartygirl24 · 31-35, F
@sunriselover God forbid! No!
twistedrope · 26-30, M
Some people can't take being friends with someone they know have romantic interest. If that's how you feel, you were right to ask him to stay away. And if he's persistent imo, just keep saying "No." no context, no reasons just "NO" before blocking him
Smartygirl24 · 31-35, F
@twistedrope I did that too. I made it clear for him that those affections are the last thing Id want in my relationships with other ppl. So he said ok and promised not to show that anymore. But Im not sure...I still feel guilty. I feel like cheating on my husband
twistedrope · 26-30, M
@Smartygirl24 Sounds like its causing you distress. Yeah, it's best not to keep that person in your life. I wish you all the support in the world. You're doing great.
Smartygirl24 · 31-35, F
@twistedrope thank u my friend🌷
I would say that his "having feelings" can just be an admission. Aren't we all encouraged to own our emotions? As long as he maintains respect for you and your boundaries, there should be nothing to worry over. Don't overreact. You can always sever all contact if he crosses lines.
Smartygirl24 · 31-35, F
@OldGrandDad I agree👍
Sevendays · M
People do get crushes and are attracted to other people, even if they are married. It is how they deal with those emotions that determines whether it is cringeworthy or not.
@Sevendays Yes we are all vulnerable and must rise above it,
Sevendays · M
@sunriselover agreed.
QuietEd2019 · 31-35, M
Sorry to hear that a random guy admitting feelings for you has affected your sleep and feelings of safety 🥺🫂🫂🫂
Smartygirl24 · 31-35, F
@QuietEd2019 thanks😔🙏
QuietEd2019 · 31-35, M
@Smartygirl24 you’re welcome 🫂
2ndtimeguy · 61-69, M
Tell your husband what happened and let him know how it upset you if not he will sense your hiding something from him
wudifu · 46-50, M
Why not....donu keep thinking about what he said or about him......how well do u know him ?
wudifu · 46-50, M
@Smartygirl24 thats awkward
Smartygirl24 · 31-35, F
@wudifu yes very...😔😔
wudifu · 46-50, M
@Smartygirl24 maybe he just wants tonhave fun with you...vut remember guys arent complicated.....what we say is what we mean and want
Blondily · F
Dont lose sleep over it
It happens online too. Just move on and enjoy your life with your hubby.
Convivial · 26-30, F
Take it as a compliment he things you attractive... There's no need to think more

 
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