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My boyfriend said he will marry me in 3 to 5 years. Is this a good or bad thing?😃

Queendragonfly · 31-35, F
In America: "HE'S USING YOU"

In Sweden: "Why is he so obsessed about marriage?"
Queendragonfly · 31-35, F
@CassandraSissy Congrats to the engagement!

In Sweden most couples are cohabiting and that's called "sambo" which means you're living and being fully commited to your romantic partner and many have kids too.

I'd say marriage is the least of priorities here. Some do like you and engage but they never marry. And many do like me and do neither.
CassandraSissy · 26-30, T
@Queendragonfly Thanks sweetie...

It's whatever works for the couple in the end, right?

😘
Queendragonfly · 31-35, F
@CassandraSissy Exactly 👌😊
AbbySvenz · F
I think it depends on context…

Like, is that when he finishes his degree or is eligible for parole?
Why not now ? Let's get married now, have a small party and then renew our vows and have a big wedding later, in 3-5 years when we can afford it.
Queendragonfly · 31-35, F
@nothereforpeople How long have they known eachother? Marriage is serious. It's not your sweet 16 party.
robertsnj · 56-60, M
what keeps you from having this conversation with him? Do you and he talk about life goals? kids no kids, where you will live, what career paths my look like? Sit down with him and have a life-together talk --see how that feels for him and you. I have had them before when I was 20 years younger and our didn't match up. It really comes down to will he talk to you and how to you feel about those conversations.
@robertsnj "the will to talk" . That's what the person I was with lacked
daydeeo · 61-69, M
What reason does he give for waiting so long?
daydeeo · 61-69, M
@kimberlyJay He's using you. If you want to stay with him, forget about ever getting married. If you want to get married, forget about him.
@kimberlyJay I knew guys at work that talked about that very thing. One bragging how he has a girl head over heels (?) in love with him and will wait until he is ready to get married. He was there for the sex and it guaranteed he always had a girl waiting. He played her for the two plus years that I worked there.
I would be bad and do a bit of checking him out more, he's likely tried this out before
@kimberlyJay I also think he's stringing her along. I was in an emotionally abusive relationship. Still struggling to move past it and am at a point where I'm like ''I want the abuse back'' , which I know is nonesense thinking but apart from this situation, I'm a very logical person and have read and seen enough online and offline to confirm what is said in the comments above. He doesn't deserve you and you're better off finding someone who doesn't want to drag you on

BUT before you get into another relationship, please read about narcissism and love bombing and all that because my lack of knowledge about it is what put me into my current predicament
Picklebobble2 · 56-60, M
Given how the last five years has gone what difference does it make to wait another five ?
CassandraSissy · 26-30, T
Depends on how long you've dated already, sweetie....

😘
Queendragonfly · 31-35, F
@CassandraSissy That and the evenomic status and priorities.
Are you sure he didn't say "After 3 to 5 beers"?
easterniowegin · 51-55, M
Are you at equivalent levels or is one of you higher/lower than the other? Which one?
@easterniowegin I'm sorry, but this is ridiculous. It's like this relationship is transactional. "what are you doing to make yourself attractive???" why did he choose her to begin with if he didn't find her attractive? and you don't marry someone just because she can cook and take care of kids. You marry her because you want her to be your partner through thick and thin, your life companion, not a maid or a pretty piece of art to look at and sleep with
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It is neither good or bad. It depends on so many factors from culture, to your relationship, to economic considerations.

Millenials and younger are tending to get married later because well to be blunt most of us are broke.
exexec · 61-69, C
My wife and I dated almost 8 years for a good reason. We had to wait until both of us graduated from college. Your boyfriend doesn't seem to have a very good reason for waiting.
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daydeeo · 61-69, M
@OldMan70 I'm sure it didnt take you long to demonstrate that
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Id say its good if you pan out. Maybe hes been hurt a few times and wants to make sure you will be the last and only one he will ever need.
SW-User
Does he have the same problem choosing his clothes?
TexChik · F
The check is in the mail.
SW-User

 
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