he always said it would be a betrayal if i called the cops

@DunningKruger he doesnt know it was me who called, but yes..i only did it after muchhhh consideration, at the perfect time, and when it would benefit him.

@HootyTheNightOwl great point!!

@foldedunfolding As somebody who is living with domestic abuse and who has supporters, I'm aware of just how hard it can be for my supporters to hear about specific instances of abuse (even without it hitting close to home with abuse that they might have been through themselves)... so don't be scared to reach out to a helpline yourself if you feel like you could use some support as a secondary survivor of domestic abuse.

Given that your survivor is a man, then a helpline that is geared towards helping men might be better for you to reach out to because they will know better what support is available to men.

It could also benefit him to reach out to a helpline, too. Even if he's not ready to accept that this is abuse yet... some offer regular gatherings where you meet together and do something together or classes where they teach about different types of abuse. For me, learning about what abuse is went a long way to me reaching the point where I saw those early red flags that I didn't see in the moment because I was too busy trying to escape a situation that felt much worse for 19 year old Hooty.

A tech abuse course is well worth taking for anyone (regardless of if they are actively being abused or not), given how technology has become so entrenched in our lives these days. We all need to be aware of the ways that abusers can stalk us without even being in the same location as we are.