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Why does some parents find it hard to say I love you or show affections to their kids and things like that?

Serenitree · F
It's quite possible they grew up with parents who also found it difficult to be openly affectionate. They learn what they live. Or in some cases their affection might have been openly rejected by their parents. If that's the case, they may grow up with the idea that showing love is shameful in some way. There are all kinds of reasons for becoming the kind of people we are.

Feb. 10/17
3:44 pm
curiosi · 61-69, F
Not all parents are loving. Pushing a baby out doesn't always change a person.
SW-User
It's how they were brought up. I wasn't really shown much parental love in my life growing up, so if I had a kid, I would have a really hard time showing affection...so having kids probably wouldn't be for me at the moment.
Serenitree · F
Maybe not right now, but when you do, you can acknowledge that lack in your childhood and make up your mind that your child will get hugs and be told, every day, that they are loved. Especially when they misbehave. Discipline is important, but withholding the love and comfort of a hug should not be part of the punishment. Immediately after their time out, the need a hug and an I love you, even if they say they don't love you or they hate you, they need to know that they can't make you stop loving them. That's called emotional security, and we all need it.

Feb. 10/17
4:13 pm
SW-User
@Serenitree: That's right. I will keep notice of everything that was missing in my childhood and make sure that he or she is raised correctly. A child should be given confidence and emotional satisfaction. I was always told of what I "can't do, you'll fail at it" rather than, "you can do it, I believe in you",so that has destroyed my self confidence. I'll give praises and see him or her reach their goals in life.
Serenitree · F
@Ballisticboy: that made my eyes tear and sent a shiver up my spine. If you can do that, you will have very lucky children.

🤗

Feb. 10/17
4:22 pm
alexandriaruins · 31-35, F
Usually how they were loved and shown affection is how they'll show love and affection.
firefall · 61-69, M
It's largely a matter of how they were brought up themselves & taught implicitly how to parent, although sometimes it's because of subconscious resentment of the children (usually stemming from the feeling that having children 'cheated' them out of other, 'better', life options.
tynamite · 31-35, M
Power and control.
Spokeskitties75 · 46-50, M
Because they are idiots and don't know how fortunate they are to be able to show the most important love you can and that's to their own children
elVato · 46-50, M
🤔 because they look at their kids and think:

"...you are the reason i gave up all my hopes and dreams?"

😕
Serenitree · F
What a terrible way to feel. My kids were the fulfillment of my hopes and dreams.

I just hope that they know that. I wasn't a good mom, because I had undiagnosed emotional and mental disorders, which of course were either left untreated or were treated with the wrong medication. But I never withheld love from them; not even in the worst times.


Feb. 10/17
4:19 pm
elVato · 46-50, M
cheesyAF · 31-35, M
Let me know when you find out. I've been asking myself this my whole life.
It's not just for parents. It's mostly for everyone.
Syktur · 26-30, M
I'll let you know.

 
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