my bestie confessed his feelings to me a month or two ago

i told him im struggling to have an interest in anyone at the moment or to date at all, and also would struggle too much as there was a great deal of distance between us. he told me today he met someone and they kissed and spent the whole weekend together. he said he needs to get over me and might put a little bit of distance between us

im afraid our friendship of ten years will end. ive been such a shitty friend the last year as ive been struggling a lot with the death of my mom and just everything else awful thats happened the last two years. which tbh ive been a shitty friend for the last two years in general. struggling to text back, set up times to call, reaching out first. if he realizes what a pos i am with this step back i wouldnt blame him for not talking to me anymore. but i love him so much and i dont want to lose him in my life.

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OlderSometimesWiser · F

If you love him so much and don’t want to lose him, you need to step forward and make more of an effort.

Frostcloud · F

@OlderSometimesWiser ive been making more effort the last few weeks but it may be too little too late. i dont want to hurt him by trying to reach out more after he said he needs space, i dont want to come between him and this girl

OlderSometimesWiser · F

@Frostcloud Do you have romantic feelings for him or strictly friendship?

Frostcloud · F

@OlderSometimesWiser i guess i dont know. i do feel some romantic attraction towards him.. the most important part of a romantic relationship to me is a strong friendship. but between being generally sad and sorta generally disinterested in dating (which im trying to get over) and him living hours away i just couldnt be in a relationship with him

OlderSometimesWiser · F

@Frostcloud Does he know all this? If so, sounds like it’s too painful for him to maintain your friendship as is because he wants to take things to the next level. In which case you should respect his feelings and give him the space he’s requested.

You’re absolutely entitled to your feelings but yes, you do run the risk of either altering or losing the friendship.