My BF is nice over the phone but distant and closed off in person.

Idk why he tells me he’s attracted to me and always ask me to come over. Then he will even call me to talk about the future and how he’s okay and love being around me. When I do come over he leaves me in a room by myself and goes to talk to his mother. Then he cuts me off and is short and snappy with me. Then if we don’t hook up he goes to sleep or falls asleep on the movie. Then when I try to create distance he checks to see if I’m coming back over. At the end of the week after spending so much time with him and these mixed feelings I feel drained. I don’t judge him for living at home cause it’s a big house and at least he has family to live with until he gets a place. So that’s not the issue. I also think he is a little bit of a mommas boy like the whole entertaining his mom before bed and leaving me in my room is kinda weird. Cause we’re in our 30s lol. Last night I stayed up watching the movie we put on cause he knocked out on me and then he calls to make sure In coming back. To be honest he acts a little emotionally unavailable to me and in return im the same because how can I get close to guy who literally rejects me in person. The only other thing it could be is im new for him im not his type he claims his type changed but it could be like he likes me in the bed room but when it comes to chilling hanging out and spending time with me it’s a issue. I really don’t care that much anymore for my own sanity but Im just wanting to know why is it like this and why when I walk away or distance myself he coming looking for me. Also it’s not all bad but im big on energy like I can never just sit around a man who acts like he doesn’t like me in person. Also it’s so weird that one time I touched him on his arm in a living way and he jumped. He only can connect to me if it’s pecks on the lips or he is banging me which he takes full control over.

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LordShadowfire · 46-50, M

Well, it sounds like you will never be in a real relationship with him, because he's already in one with his mom.

You should run.

Lexiitexii · 31-35, F

@LordShadowfire it’s the weirdest thing. His mom is married too not his dad though she wont let him meet or know his real father. Claims she doesn’t know who he is. The other day after her and her husband were having marriage issues she bangs on the door and claims she could hear us. Which killed it for us and we got dressed and headed to work. It’s like her son is her boyfriend. it’s a weird dynamic I’m a boy mom and I don’t act like this at all. He even bought a birthday cake to cater to her allergies even though it was my birthday. I actually broke up with him and 2 weeks later he apologized and realed me back in. He is a very loving guy and fun to talk to but when he is around his mother which we are everyday. He’s 30 and his mom stays up to make sure he is in at a certain time. Sometimes she talks to me like I’ve stolen her boyfriend I also wonder if she ever did something with him becauee that’s how weird it is sometimes. Like I be feeling that weird energy like she is some other woman. Yet I still remain calm and keep it demure.

Lexiitexii · 31-35, F

@LordShadowfire I’m afraid if I go down the rabbit hole it may get really weird. He is 30 yr old yt male. His mother claims to have a idea who his biological father is but doesn’t know. Claims she was protecting him, which makes me wonder if it was a older family member or something weird. He won’t look for his father which we had in common but I met my dad when I was 15 and actually got a private investigator to find him.