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Should I ask him what happened or just leave it as is? If he really wanted to see me, he would have made the effort despite my responses right?

Hi everyone, so earlier in June, I met this guy. I felt like we got along really well. He kept asking me on more dates and we went on 6 dates. We slept with each other twice during those times. However, I'm looking for a serious relationship and at the age I don't want to waste my time.

So on the sixth date, I asked him where he saw things going and he told me that he hasn't really thought about it. He said that he takes a long time to make things official because breaking up is hard if things end up not working out. And he told me that he really likes me and that he thinks I'm hot, but he needs more time. I felt as if 6 dates is enough time to get to know someone... and I asked him if he would be okay with me seeing other people. He paused and he said that he guesses it would be okay because it would be selfish of him to say he's not okay with it.

The next week came around, and his actions were normal- he consistently texted me every day or every other day at least to check on me which he has always done. We normally went out every Friday and spent the night together, but this time he told me that he would be busy on that Friday. I responded and told him it's fine because I had plans anyway.

The next few days he continued to text me and I made my answers short and stopped responding after a few texts. He eventually stopped texting after that nad he has not asked me out again. I notice that he responds to my story on Instagram from time to time and tries to talk to me, but again, i normally make my answers short and don't respond like I did before.

I took time and distanced myself from him because I didn't want to get too attached to someone that I wasn't sure if we would be together or not. But as the weeks goes on, I find myself still thinking about him and other dates really have not measured up to how I feel with him. I miss the way he made me feel heard and the way he was always there for me, consistent, and just so gentle with me. I wished he would ask me on another date. I'm not sure why he hasn't just asked me again, even if my responses are short, wouldn't he want to just ask me what's wrong?

The last time he talked to me was when he saw my brother is moving to California, and he told me to let him know if i wanted a huge. I just responded with "haha thanks" and that was it.

I'm not sure whether I should ask him why he hasn't asked me out again or what's going on first because I feel that if he really wanted to see me again, he would have made the effort to plan something. He is 32 and I'm 27. can someone please help me out? haha
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Salix75 · 46-50, F
He knows or senses you've been pushing him away, so no wonder he's keeping his distance. If you like him and want to be with him, let him know and ask him out... it's 2020, you don't have to wait for the guy to ask you
gracek93 · 31-35, F
@Salix75 But don't you think that if he really wanted to see me, he would have asked me out again?
Salix75 · 46-50, F
@gracek93 and face a 2nd rejection? Possibly not. You seem to be sending a clear "not interested" message
gracek93 · 31-35, F
@Salix75 What do you mean 2nd rejection? How is it a second rejection? He was the one that told me that he would be busy on that friday and i told him its fine because i had plans anyway. i don't think that's a rejection.
Salix75 · 46-50, F
@gracek93 your short responses and closed-ended responses are a passive rejection. He senses there's not much opportunity with you (hence, 1st rejection).

Further, "It's fine I had plans anyway" also has a completely different emotional tone than "that's too bad, i was hoping to see you again soon. How about Saturday instead?"
ProfessorPlum77 · 70-79, MVIP
@Salix75 Two thumbs up. Some women want to be chased, so they send our a "Meh" vibe. Some men take that to mean "Not interested" and move on with their lives. Burned once, shame on her. Burned twice, shame on me.
Salix75 · 46-50, F
@ProfessorPlum77 Thank you. I've learned that games don't work. Clear, open, honest communication is the easiest and most effective way. Cut through all the BS :)
gracek93 · 31-35, F
@Salix75 But I was clear that I didn't want to waste my time and that I wanted something serious out of our "dating" or whatever. Like isn't that clear enough?
Salix75 · 46-50, F
@gracek93 yeah, he probably understood you to mean he was a waste of time. So he's moving on.

6 dates is a bit early to start wanting to pin someone down to anything IMHO
ProfessorPlum77 · 70-79, MVIP
@Salix75 Exactly.