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I really dont understand guys

Is it just me or do yall have this happen to yall too?

I gave this guy a suggestion if he wanted to go out with me while in quarantine maybe start with video chats and etc. So then the next day, late at night I get a text saying "we should video chat" now I'm baffled cause I thought he would do it in the day light or ask me before hand. It's like 12am and I'm a mess. My hair is in a bonnet and im exhausted from cleaning the house so I look extra messy. 🤣🤣🤣 now I think hes mad cause I said no. I dont get it.
Soundsofsilence · 51-55, M
Yeah he should have treated it more like a date. Even if it was virtual. That is an issue we have now. Everyone takes for granted the technology we have.
@Soundsofsilence exactly.
Just tell him that it was far too late at night for you, that you were embarrassed because your hair was in a bonnet and you were exhausted from cleaning the house so you looked at your worst.

Tell him you'd like to arrange a date for when you can look at your best - and suggest a few times.
@xXAlternativeblkchicxX Only at the small talk stage! He sounds like a someone who either has no clue about how to develop a real relationship, or was only interested in you for his gratification. If the latter, those guys don't deserve one second of consideration. If all women boycott them, some might eventually realise that women are whole human beings with feelings that matter, not objects to be used. Sorry, but that type of male infuriates me. I'd lobotomize and castrate them if it was legal.
@hartfire I honestly feel the same way! I found guys like that waaaay too often. And yeah it definitely sucks.
@xXAlternativeblkchicxX At 18, young men are at the peak of their testosterone. Every year after that, the level drops by 1%.
At 18 years, he hormones that drive libido in women are 14 times less. For us too, our drive drops 1% each year.
This means men always have far more drive than we do.
For young men, desire is fun when they're on the chase with a prospect of success, and in the moments before, during and just after getting what they want. But it all starts again 20 minutes later, and within a day is becoming intolerable. For them, especially when they can't get what they want, desire is a perpetual source of frustration, anger and disappointment.

Biologically and neurologically, most men don't start to grow up and begin to see and treat women as whole human beings until between 26 and 30.
And that still depends on factors like upbringing, beliefs and character.
A man who's had a loving mother and at least one sister (close in age) is usually the best in a relationship with a woman. He absorbs a lot of understanding in childhood, and can't see a woman as anything other than a person with autonomy, personal tastes and the right to say no.
TexChik · F
Men are often clueless . This one seems especially so .
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@RightSaidFred yeah I dont think thatl happen lol
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@SW-User yeah I'm not in a relationship with him. I'm just talking to the dude.
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@SW-User hm I'll like to say half a level if it's mostly small talk.
th3r0n · 41-45, M
Hate to tell you, if video chat request is coming in late at night, it’s probably sexually motivated

Not always, but usually
@th3r0n yeah we never video chatted so my mind went straight to "hes horny"
th3r0n · 41-45, M
@xXAlternativeblkchicxX yep, not a good way to start a relationship

even if you ignore morals, which you shouldn’t, starting a relationship with sexual attachments will make you feel more interested than you would be, and there may not be anything else to be had between you, also even if there is some to find it develops the relationship on a more shallow basis and doesn’t allow for deeper friendship to develop, which is important
@th3r0n yeah I only like developing relationships if there is romantic feeling or friendship in it. Sexual is not my priority. After all of that I'm not talking to him anymore
texasdaddydom · 56-60, M
after reading most of this thread and your responses no loss if he is ghosting you for a refusal at that hour with no warning his interest is clear. do as you wish the only thing I would caution is against investing in someone like this emotionally.
@texasdaddydom dont worry I didnt connect to him emotionally at all I was stuck on the small talk stage with him. I blocked him.
AllelujahHaptism · 36-40, M
A little advanced notice would be useful haha
@AllelujahHaptism or just bored idk
AllelujahHaptism · 36-40, M
@xXAlternativeblkchicxX nah happy to see you I'm sure haha
@AllelujahHaptism eeehhhh XD
GeistInTheMachine · 31-35, M
The boy be spinnin' plates like a G.
@GeistInTheMachine lol what? Explain.
GeistInTheMachine · 31-35, M
@xXAlternativeblkchicxX He's got other girls and you're not high on his list.
@GeistInTheMachine ahhhhhh honestly if that's true or not I'm not surprised xD
WolfGirlwh0r3 · 36-40, T
well personally the messier the better
WolfGirlwh0r3 · 36-40, T
@xXAlternativeblkchicxX i did just say your comfort was most important did i not?
@WolfGirlwh0r3 lol I'm agreeing with you
WolfGirlwh0r3 · 36-40, T
@xXAlternativeblkchicxX I know i would fail in the dating market 100/10 times
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@RightSaidFred I still told him and he still got upset.
HannibalMontanimal · 26-30, M
Late night conversations are the best 😏
@HannibalMontanimal not really when I'm unprepared 🤧
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SW-User
Maybe he’s creeping trying to hide from his gf or wife asleep in the house at midnight....
SW-User
@xXAlternativeblkchicxX It’s suspicious so it’s highly possible if you don’t know him! If so then you deserve better!
@SW-User thanks I appreciate it lol
SW-User
@xXAlternativeblkchicxX Lol no problem 😁
MartinTheFirst · 26-30, M
I'm shy so I enjoy video chatting at night. That's because 1# no one else is around to hear me talk, 2# I'm usually more relaxed at night, 3# I could have had some liquid courage.

 
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