It's been rough for days. Been crying occasionally. I'm really tired of this.

There's so much swarming in my head. Everything has been humbling in a shitty way like being flat out broke and having to ask for help, seeing everyone my age ahead of the game living their life on their own, girlfriend is just semi-present now (hustling with my dream job), and life's just been giving me the finger now, which my past is starting to haunt again...I just feel completely worthless. It's a wonder how I just can't bring myself to jumping off a cliff, things so shitty like they are.

I just need to face it somehow...that's what I'll do tomorrow and the upcoming days. Something just needs to change. I'm going to talk to my girl soon and figure that out, going to go on a job hunt again, and eventually get my own place. I can't deal anymore.

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XReaganX · 26-30, F

@SW-User@DarkHeaven Y'all see a lot of my lows. I hope y'all don't think I do this for attention. I swear I'm not a whiner, this is just the only place to get it off my chest.

You both are great. Somehow you see the real me because outside of this NOBODY would guess what's going on. I'm private and extremely resilient. Y'all get the softer and sensitive side, others see a stone lady. Lol

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DarkHeaven ·

@XReaganX Sometimes we are just put in each other’s path. I don’t question it. I just do the next right thing. You were that thing for me that night. 🖤🤗

XReaganX · 26-30, F

@DarkHeaven well, a couple of nights actually. I was in pretty bad shape. You were always there though. It really makes one think, if things were different nobody in this household would ever understand...it would be a shock, "We had no idea." But here you are, my friend, who prevented that outcome. You understand, Aiyana understands, y'all are the only ones who do. There's not enough gratitude to express for the kind things you do.

DarkHeaven ·

@XReaganX

SW-User

[quote]It's a wonder how I just can't bring myself to jumping off a cliff, things so shitty like they are.[/quote]

Doesn't come as a surprise to me at all. You've always been tough as nails. 🤗 You'll find your footing.

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SW-User

@DarkHeaven the feeling is mutual 😌🤗

DarkHeaven ·

@SW-User I was worried a little too. I always worry about people I care about... but it gave me comfort you had Scruffy. He’s a great friend.

DarkHeaven ·

@SW-User 🖤🤗

DarkHeaven ·

You need your own space. You’re ready for this. I know you are. I believe in you. I always have.

SW-User

((hugs)) I know it's tough, I think brighter days are ahead for you. From what I've seen of you so far you have grit and resilience and it's going to see you through

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XReaganX · 26-30, F

@SW-User I wasn't always that way. It's been a long road (without getting into my past here). I got regrets too, they're just buried with the rest of it. But people like you that have come into my life during these times taught me so much. I'm grateful for it. Really am. 🤗