It's been rough for days. Been crying occasionally. I'm really tired of this.

There's so much swarming in my head. Everything has been humbling in a shitty way like being flat out broke and having to ask for help, seeing everyone my age ahead of the game living their life on their own, girlfriend is just semi-present now (hustling with my dream job), and life's just been giving me the finger now, which my past is starting to haunt again...I just feel completely worthless. It's a wonder how I just can't bring myself to jumping off a cliff, things so shitty like they are.

I just need to face it somehow...that's what I'll do tomorrow and the upcoming days. Something just needs to change. I'm going to talk to my girl soon and figure that out, going to go on a job hunt again, and eventually get my own place. I can't deal anymore.

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XReaganX · 26-30, F

@SW-User@DarkHeaven Y'all see a lot of my lows. I hope y'all don't think I do this for attention. I swear I'm not a whiner, this is just the only place to get it off my chest.

You both are great. Somehow you see the real me because outside of this NOBODY would guess what's going on. I'm private and extremely resilient. Y'all get the softer and sensitive side, others see a stone lady. Lol

DarkHeaven ·

@XReaganX I know. But nobody is an island. I’m glad you can be real with us. Real is good too. 🖤🤗

XReaganX · 26-30, F

@DarkHeaven Well of course I can be real. You actually care, so I can be close to you without having fortify myself. 🤗

DarkHeaven ·

@XReaganX Facts. ✌️

XReaganX · 26-30, F

@DarkHeaven Btw, I like your pfp. 🤗

DarkHeaven ·

@XReaganX ty. It was after my 6 mile walk this morning and shower. I was feeling pretty. 🌸

SW-User

@XReaganX I would never assume you were doing this purely for attention. Sometimes you gotta open up and let out some of the pressure by saying what you're thinking or you'll explode. No shame in that. I know I've gone on my fair share of public rants and half of them weren't as eloquent and coherent as yours, lol. It's ok to open up and be vulnerable, we've got you.

DarkHeaven ·

@SW-User We definitely got her. *has trouble hiding my excitement*

XReaganX · 26-30, F

@SW-User @DarkHeaven Thank you. That means more to me than the both of you know. *group hugs the hell out of ya* lol

Life certainly hasn't been easy at all. But knowing now that I have a few trusted souls here...that's amazing. There were times when I had nobody, and somehow survived that, but you two definitely help bring back the fight in me.

DarkHeaven ·

@SW-User @XReaganX 🤗🤗

SW-User

@XReaganX You're always welcome. *-*

XReaganX · 26-30, F

@SW-User And so are you. I remember you and things too. You're always welcome to lean on me if you need to. You and a small handful I'm close to here are worth caring for and giving it my all. My door (DMS) are always open for you. 🤗

DarkHeaven ·

@XReaganX Even if I have to run to Mom’s in the middle of the night. 🖤🤗

XReaganX · 26-30, F

@DarkHeaven You definitely saved my life a few times even if it meant getting lectured and running through danger. I was sitting in the tub with pills, bloodied up, and a huge mess. Idk how I came across a friend like you

DarkHeaven ·

@XReaganX Sometimes we are just put in each other’s path. I don’t question it. I just do the next right thing. You were that thing for me that night. 🖤🤗

XReaganX · 26-30, F

@DarkHeaven well, a couple of nights actually. I was in pretty bad shape. You were always there though. It really makes one think, if things were different nobody in this household would ever understand...it would be a shock, "We had no idea." But here you are, my friend, who prevented that outcome. You understand, Aiyana understands, y'all are the only ones who do. There's not enough gratitude to express for the kind things you do.

DarkHeaven ·

@XReaganX