How does one deal with the aftermath of not being loved and lied to?

My ex claims with all that he did for me,that should indicate he loved me. But he lied to me, cheated twice, the first time he didn't tell me he was with someone when we got together. I forgave him after not talking to him for a while but i never really forgot so he thought I was being contentious and stirring strife all the time. The girl I found out about was a girl who cheated on him in the past and now has a child ( not his). They would always text but I thought he was just helping her get her life together.

He claims she understands him better, and that he was always asking him for peace. Before I left, I even asked him if something was going on in many details and he lied about it. That week I found out, he came for me on a bus and carried me to his house, fed me etc. He treated me right but was lying and when everything happened he said he couldn't bare to hurt me cause I'm fragile and don't handle things well. But after a series of days of questioning he claims he loves her more because she is peaceful etc. Over the weekend,he asked me what he can do to ease the pain.He suggested he could talk to her and ask if she made the right decision staying with him ( I made her know what was going on as I had her number), and that he could try to separate from her for a month. Thing is when I told her, she said she'd think about staying with him. She stayed, I left and he claims that proves who loved him more. Today I called, and told him not to bother and he said, I made the decision to leave so there is nothing else to discuss etc, and kept asking me to politely to end the conversation.

I don't want to stay but I wanted to know if he felt remorseful, his response was "did someone die?" But days before he said I was to blame him etc. He was the only person i knew and everything just got dragged under my feet. I'm not dealing with it well and have fallen into a depression.