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Devastated and angry

I did wrong by cheating on my husband last year. We split and both of us have new partners. (I stayed with my affair partner). Today my son told me that there was a card (We had fathers day in the uk) from my ex's girlfriend. It said on the front 'Dad, You're the best mum 'And inside it said 'To Jon, No words needed. I love you so much. Maddie xxx
I am devastated and angry that she would take it upon herself to do this. How would you approach it?

She meant that I am a crap mum and my ex fulfils the role of both parents as he is so wonderful 😐
Fungirlmmm · 51-55, F
I would live my life and spend as much time with my son being the best mum I could be.
Jenni855 · 36-40, F
@Fungirlmmm She is badmouthing me
Fungirlmmm · 51-55, F
@Jenni855 Then you sit down with her and the ex and set ground rules. By being the bigger person and showing compassion to her rather than stopping to her level your son will eventually realize you are the better person.
Jenni855 · 36-40, F
@Fungirlmmm How can I show compassion to her after how she has treated me?
calicuz · 51-55, M
To be honest, it's none of your business what goes on between the two of them now that the two of you are no longer together.
Jenni855 · 36-40, F
@calicuz It is when they are talking about me being a crap mum and him being so great that he is effectively mum and dad
calicuz · 51-55, M
@Jenni855

It's their home, they can talk about whatever they want. It's just a card with a note.
Jenni855 · 36-40, F
@calicuz Not when its in view of my son they cant 😐
samanthasmokes · 36-40, F
@Jenni855
This may be difficult to hear but I'll share it anyway. It's time to put to bed the anger, the resentment, and possibly, the jealousy. Your kid needs adults who love him and who are examples of forgiveness and generosity. Best way I can think of this is to assure him that you love him and that he so very deserving of the love of others that come into his life.

And this includes, hard though it may be to swallow, this extends to your ex and his GF as well.
Jenni855 · 36-40, F
@samanthasmokes How can I be okay with his girlfriend doing this to me and leaving the card within my sons reach?
samanthasmokes · 36-40, F
@Jenni855 I grant you're not OK with it and you're pissed.

So throw some gas on the fire, start a war, show that bitch some righteous payback.

OR ....

you can rise above it.

In either choice you're giving your son an example how adults handle conflict and anger.
firefall · 61-69, M
typical angry gf of an ex, really - your ex prolly has some feelings for you still, and she knows it, and lashes out preemptively
Jenni855 · 36-40, F
@firefall Whats she got to be angry about? You are right in that she must feel threatened by me
firefall · 61-69, M
@Jenni855 idk, but I expect she feels like your ex is still attached to you emotionally, and she wants to be the ONLY one
Jenni855 · 36-40, F
@firefall You may be onto something..
mrbuddhawannabe · 56-60, M
Do you have a good relationship with your son? That is the most important thing, not whatever your ex's partner says or thinks. Yes?
Jenni855 · 36-40, F
@mrbuddhawannabe Yes, we are very close
Wraithorn · 51-55, M
I'm in the dark without a torch here.
Butterflykisses24 · 51-55, F
@Wraithorn same
YMITheWayIM · 46-50, M
a bit too confused here
abe182 · 46-50, M
Who cares what she says.
It hurts because thete is truth...but the good news is you can change...stop being petty...
Jenni855 · 36-40, F
@ianR0ckwell No. It hurts because it was out of place of his new woman to do that.
SW-User
How did it make your son feel?
Jenni855 · 36-40, F
@SW-User Confused and a bit angry on my behalf
SW-User
@Jenni855 just talk about with your son.... don’t bother with the drama from your ex’s girlfriend
Butterflykisses24 · 51-55, F
I don't get it.
Jenni855 · 36-40, F
@Butterflykisses24 His girlfriend wrote the card saying that he was like a mum and dad to our son as I am such a shit parent
Butterflykisses24 · 51-55, F
@Jenni855 oh.maybe she got the card at a gas station.relax.
bhatjc · 46-50, M
Who did you cheat on your hubby with ?
smileylovesgaming · 31-35, F
I don't get it
uncalled4 · 56-60, M
I'm confused
This message was deleted by the author of the main post.
calicuz · 51-55, M

 
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