Love & Attraction > Relationships

Only logged in members can reply and interact with the post.
Join SimilarWorlds for FREE »

Would you be upset at this?

My partner split from his wife of 13 years last April and they eventually called it quits after therapy failed last July. We met a few weeks on, connected immediately and things have been blissful ever since.
Today however I was a bit concerned that he posted a photo of a day trip he had with his ex four years ago. It was to celebrate a big event but it seemed strange he would do that. He also put 'We had to travel ages to find food!' And again I question why he is talking about his ex when he hates her. Am I over reacting?

She wasn't in the photo but it still hurt.

Top | Newest First | Oldest First

lost213 · 46-50, M

You should tell him how you feel about the photo. Maybe if it is something that he celebrates then perhaps the two of you can celebrate it together and make new memories. He may have used that photo because y’all haven’t been together long enough to make memories of your own. At least he didn’t use one with his ex. Hopefully he doesn’t have any with his ex.

Jenni855 · 36-40, F

@lost213 He does still have photos with his ex on facebook but I get that. When they get divorced they will come down.

lost213 · 46-50, M

If he cares about you and your feeling it should be down already.

StevenIzzi · 51-55, M

No, you are not over reacting. He may be trying to reach out to her by letting her know he still has memories.

I would def talk to him and let him know you are not comfortable with him posting those memories and that you prefer him to post the new memories that you two will build together

Jenni855 · 36-40, F

@StevenIzzi She wasn't in the photo but it still hurt.

StevenIzzi · 51-55, M

@Jenni855 Do not be jealous of his past.[youtube=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nctrsk1X7-M]

Fungirlmmm · 51-55, F

It would have made me ask him about it.

Adaydreambeliever · 56-60, F

Very hard to say... it may be the occasion he is remembering fondly and really her presence there was immaterial, he has perhaps even mentally forgotten she was there too.. as in it wasn't important to him..

Were there kids involved in this day trip.. if they were his kids and their mum just happened to be there too that might explain it

Jenni855 · 36-40, F

@Adaydreambeliever Yes his son was there too.

Adaydreambeliever · 56-60, F

@Jenni855 There you go then.. you are seeing HER there.. but he is seeing his son and a great trip he shared with his son..

Jenni855 · 36-40, F

@Adaydreambeliever I hope so

SW-User

Just talk to him about it and let him know it had hurt you. He will most likely hug you and remove the pic. ☺️

TwiddlerofThumbs · F

Because he hates her you are upset that he has good memories of time spent with her? I have no idea if you are being unreasonable. But to expect someone to just forget 13 years of their life and pretend like it didn’t happen seems unreasonable.

Jenni855 · 36-40, F

@TwiddlerofThumbs I just don't think it needs to be on facebook and seems weird. He says most of the memories have been tainted now anyway because his ex was always drunk

TwiddlerofThumbs · F

Why does it bother you though? Is it what he did or does it cause concern for you about how he feels about you? @Jenni855

Jenni855 · 36-40, F

@TwiddlerofThumbs Both.
Seems weird he would post the photo knowing its a memory of time with her and also that he would kind of reference her in it

PrivateHell · M

You have only been together for a few months. He had a life and memories before he got with you. I am sure he, even if he hates his ex, there are certain parts of his life he wants to remember fondly. As long as he isn't constantly talking about or to her, or comparing you to her, there is nothing to worry about.

Jenni855 · 36-40, F

@PrivateHell He does talk about her a lot but I know it's a process he needs to go through and I am here for him. I just didn't like the photo.

This comment is hidden. Show Comment

View 1 more replies »

This comment is hidden. Show Comment

Jenni855 · 36-40, F

@ISpeakTheTruth It is what it is, I know it will look petty of him if he took them down at this point.

This comment is hidden. Show Comment

SW-User

People will always have memories, good and bad, about their past experiences. I myself have overreacted about things like this, so just try not to; he is with [b]you.[/b] People's pasts don't count, or shouldn't, unless they are doing something horrible..illegal. yanno?

Jenni855 · 36-40, F

@SW-User I know, just feels weird

SW-User

@Jenni855 talk to him about it, then. If you can't, then I'd say that's definitely a problem.

ozgirl512 · 26-30, F

Just my view... He did have a life before you, to deny it may be a tad silly ... If everything else between you is great why not concentrate on that instead?

View 2 more replies »

Jenni855 · 36-40, F

@ozgirl512 Perhaps. It was just the 'We were lucky to find ice cream! ' comment that bothered me too. That was unnecessary to bring her into it

ozgirl512 · 26-30, F

@Jenni855 I think you may be being a tad too sensitive sweet ... Bottom line to me is, who is he with now?

wolfess · 26-30, F

You are too sensitive. She wasn’t even in the picture. @Jenni855

SW-User

When a man says that he dislikes his ex but then remind his memory about that person again is a sign that he is still cannot get over them.

View 3 more replies »

Jenni855 · 36-40, F

@SW-UserCaught who?

SW-User

@Jenni855 He posted a photo of a day trip he had with his ex four years ago. That is what you see.

Jenni855 · 36-40, F

@SW-User Yes, it was a public post so not hidden

Platinum · M

He might feel so comfortable with you and relaxed that he feels he can post something and you won't feel any pressure as your relationship is tight....

Jenni855 · 36-40, F

@Platinum Just thought it a weird thing to do

Platinum · M

It is weird, but it might mean nothing, just ask him why he put it up and say you are not comfortable seeing it....I'm sure he loves you..@Jenni855

eMortal · M

She's all the memories he got. They can't just disappear in few weeks. You and him will create new memories.

Jenni855 · 36-40, F

@eMortal I just find it insensitive especially talking about her too

eMortal · M

@Jenni855 you know conversation people like talking what about their experiences. She's probably in the all his stories. Give him time

Picklebobble2 · 56-60, M

Perhaps he wanted to celebrate the event not who he was with.

Poor choice of photo though if it had his ex in it.

Jenni855 · 36-40, F

@Picklebobble2 No, she wasn't in it. I hope you are right

plungesponge · 41-45, M

Depends what is in the photo. If it's him and her holding each other, yeah that's a bit weird.

Jenni855 · 36-40, F

@plungesponge No, she wasn't in it but it was of the event they both attended and saying 'We were lucky to find ice cream' which was a reference to her was unnecessary I felt.

SW-User

He apparently doesn't.

Jenni855 · 36-40, F

@SW-User Doesnt what?

wolfess · 26-30, F

Calm your jealousy

Add a comment...