Not really sure why but I've cheated, I have a beautiful wife I love she means everything to me, I also have a girlfriend that I love very much, my wife and my girlfriend are 2 totally different women in every way.

I know, I think its pathetic. I suspect many people, maybe most people, are more emotionally dependant then actually in love so this leads to them staying with someone that doesn't really make them happy, to be sure to never be alone, while pursuing other people, which is what they really want to be doing. I think like you said, if you want to pursue other people then leave whoever you are with and be a celibate. I think its pathetic to let the fear of being alone make someone stay in a mediocre relationship rather than following their heart.

I haven't cheated before but my boyfriend has.

I have never in my life cheated but if I'm to be totally honest in the past few days I've had thoughts about it. Can't say I'd do it for real but my alcoholic unpredictable husband is starting to lose my respect and if the right person and situation were presented I don't know if I could control myself

For women, they wanna keep the good stuff they get from their boyfriend or husband, but want some better or different sex. As for why not just try to work it out, that takes effort. And generally, women don't like to play teacher. They want the guy to know how to please her, already. And if a super hot alpha guy comes along and stimulates and excites her, while she's grown accustomed and bored with her husband/bf, it can make it tempting.

There's also an instinctual driver that makes it beneficial for her to stay with the bf/hubby while bearing a better man's child. He may be dedicated to her, while the other man may just have better traits to pass on.

For men, they just generally want to fuck 80% of the women on Earth. So, it's more a matter of giving into instinct. That desire doesn't leave when they fall in love, like it sometimes does with women. A guy will always want other women, on an instinctual level. The genetic programming to "spread the seed".

The dick has a brain of its own, which is separate from the guy's heart and mind. That's the best way to think of it.

You can't understand it, unless you've been in that situation. It's not a rational decision. It's temptation. It's an impulse thay has to be resisted. It's just weakness and selfishness. It's the animal nature we all have.

I have cheated before, and it was just heat of the moment. It was just too hard to resist.

The attraction and fresh excitement of a new lover, validation of one's ability to attract, the need for clandestine adventure, excitement added to a life perceived as boring, keeping to a macho cultural norm (as in some Italian families where the father is expected to have at least one mistress), someone to have sexual intimacy with while one's mate is long term unavailable (in the army, in a coma, in an institution, pregnant, indifferent, having his or her own affair etc), the lure of adolescent fantasies no longer part of the marriage, kinky sex interests never confided to spouse, gay and wanting sex with same gender unbeknownst to spouse, ethically immature and doesn't take promises or vows seriously, feeling disconnected with spouse but not wanting a divorce because of children or established social status/stable life, thinking of getting a divorce but needs a "transition person" to assure him/her that he/she can make it out there....

OK, I got tired and stopped.

But, the truth is, why [i]wouldn't[/i] people cheat? When you think about it, it's pretty amazing that anyone actually stays faithful!

Because they are selfish and emotionally immature. To blame it on biology because we're animals is like saying I took a shit on the dinning table because I couldn't help myself.

People get married or have monogamous relationships to have their needs met for physical intimacy. Sometimes those needs change and partners can't get through it because of a lack of communication or lack of understanding the problem. Then some men and women are just dogs. Why not just split up? Children, finances, what other people would think. There are lots of reasons not to split up. My wife entered menopause in her mid 30s. We went from having sex 3 to 5 times a week to once every 8 to 10 weeks. I need more than that, my wife has the attitude that this is how it is going to be and that I should get used to it. To me, that is unacceptable. So I have cheated. If she cheated, it would be a different story, she shouldn't share what she isn't giving me. If I left her, she couldn't make it by herself at this time, so I stay. In a year or so, that may be different, if it is, then I will move along on my own. There is a whole lot more than just cheating in some cases.

I've heard a million excuses for cheating but I've never heard one that really justifies it.

the thrill of it/newer body parts

I wonder this, too.

Kids+ intractable issues/poor modes of communication.

Most cheat because of oppturnity .

Have you been cheated on?

It’s selfishness, really. Especially with the person sneaking around and being dishonest. Some couples actually have “open” relationships, where both parties are free to have other partners. That wouldn’t work for [b]me[/b], why bother getting married if one’s not going to be monogamous ? But in those arrangements at least everyone knows what’s what.