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Would you give up if you were in my shoes?

Poll - Total Votes: 15
Yes
No
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You can only vote on one answer.
I've been speaking to someone online for 13-14 months, we have not yet met because of his insecurities despite me starting to push recently. We also have been drifting the last two months, and I expressed myself last night for the first time as I'm normally too scared, I told him that I'm constantly on edge, I asked loads of questions which he did not answer. He just told me that I'm only thinking about myself, his responses to constant paragraphs were pretty cold and only a couple of words, very different how he used to act and he just said "ok" when I said a very caring, loving goodnight to him... not sure what to do, you probably think I'm stupid for waiting this long, but I'm now running out of patience and feeling insecure in myself. What would you do, would you of given up by now?
polyandrym66 · 70-79, M
Drop him.. He's not able to open up with you enough to answer your personal questions and share his life details, and sounds like his feelings also..
He'll be like this in real life, so if you are looking for an intimate relationship - he's not the one for you..
He sounds like a scammer. Too many excuses and won’t meet. Big red flags. Lose him. He’s emotionally unavailable.
alkim4353 · 22-25, M
Hey not sure if I can answer with a definitive yes or no. tbh been in your shoes. Been tight with people before but sometimes they drift away. Do I chase after or let it be. Either way can go wrong. What I've learned from bad and good relationships was to go with it. Just show that you can care about the person and that they mean something to you. If they want to be with you or want support open arms. If they need space or just don't feel like it then well let it be. It can go any way. Just give it time and go with it. Don't completely stress but don't just not give fks either. lmk if you want to talk about it more or want some advice. Wish you the best of luck and hope things get better.
Vallesia · 26-30, F
@alkim4353 When I told him we're drifting, he said he agreed and felt the way for ages but didn't mention it to me once. He then said he's always in his own world 24/7, that's why we don't speak much, it is however 50/50 I can't blame him for everything, it's also half my fault. I'm just confused and feeling pretty lost :-)
alkim4353 · 22-25, M
@Vallesia Hey don't stress too much okay? You seem like a nice and caring person. If they act like this then well give it some time and space. Focus on yourself and making new connections and strengthening ones that exist. In the words of Dory "just keep swimming" lol
madasalizard · 36-40, M
Yeah this one is done I'm afraid. Sounds like he's met someone new and they have all his interest now. And not meeting due to insecurities? That's a red flag in itself. Both from the same country?
Vallesia · 26-30, F
@madasalizard Yes, we both live in the same country, and to be more specific around 200 miles away we both live in the middle of nowhere, so it's hard to access. But the end of last year I tried to organise something, and mentioned the best train routes and buses/locations to meet that were relatively cheap aswell. He said he dislikes his skin, and is scared I'll change my mind when I see how "ugly" he really is in person, which to be in BS. I wouldn't of been so hooked this long if I found him "ugly"
jennypenny · 70-79, F
Most definitely I would give up on him. You don't know what he is. He might be a complete fraud and married. Spend your time on worthwhile people - those who are real and you meet in real life
Goralski · 51-55, M
Get a real life boyfriend
Vallesia · 26-30, F
@Goralski Never found anyone irl that's ever interested me, personality wise...
SW-User
Frustrating. Best to back down, keep him as a friend if you don't want to lose the connection, and move on.
496sbc · 36-40, M
Dont feel bad a girl on here did this to me id love to chat and tell u all about it
SW-User
Sounds like a player. If he can't be mature and discuss, drop his ass

 
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