Well i wont suggest that, its the couples decision, she just asked about coding and all, and i wont suggest separation unless i know more about him and her.... I dont rush to things anymore now...
Read the last sentence again. He's making her feel like shit for not doing as he wants her to do. And her telling him, straight up, isn't good enough. He calls it making excuses. He is showing a complete lack of respect for her, and he's trying to control her.
Yes. To stick with him or go, is ultimately, her decision, but....she asked the question What should I do? my advice is to escape him. He won't change. He will keep trying to mould her into what he wants, instead of loving and respecting who she is.
Unless of course, you think she's lying about how he's treating her.
Studies have shown that making more money does not make people any happier. Job satisfaction is far more important.
One person's "excuse" is another person's reason. This is simply semantics. He is trying to put you on the defensive for not doing what he wants you to do.
When you say he says your reasons are "just an excuse," that implies you are arguing about it. There should be NO argument about you doing what you like to do instead of learning a job skill you find difficult and unappealing. This is simply your decision; he should not even be arguing with you about it, let alone calling your personal choices "an excuse."
Try this: Tell him you've been thinking about this and have decided to stay with your present job and career. Then sit calmly as he rants and mentally give him a time limit (like 2-3 minutes) as you listen with no response or argument. Then say, "I can see how strongly you feel about this. Nevertheless, that is my decision." And do not have any argument about it. You can say, "This subject is closed for further discussion." Then change the subject to something pleasant.
@Serenitree we don't know what their priorities are..i just told her to give try..your opinion is also true..what i mean to say is may be she can spent evenings in the free time to learn coding for couple of weeks or months(without leaving current job)..if she is able to cope up then its ok if not she can tell her boy friend that she i not able make it.(without leaving current job..may be if both the couple are on the same field they can help each other unless they have strong dedication towards their job
@Iloveoceans I'm sorry. I feel you need to reread what she wrote. She gave it a try. Do you not understand that she has told him? She Didn't like it. She doesn't want to cope. She likes her job. Hates coding. Read all of her responses to others. She has made it clear. She spoke to him about it and he makes her feel like she's not good enough unless she does what he wants. Please read her last sentence once more.
@EnchantedAzy life is not about making money while feeling miserable, enjoy doing something you like and motivates you. like i said, coding might even take a year till you start to get a grip on it
Why the hell would he think what he does would suit anybody else ? Especially his partner who has their own life, level of understanding, field of interest, career etc ?
That's either stupid thinking or a form of narcissistic bullying. Don't have a bar of it !
And don't let anyone pressure you into giving up a job where you're happy. Being happy in your work is the ideal. So many go where the money is and they make money, but they're too miserable to enjoy it.