Is it stupid to be friends with your ex when you're still in love with them?

you are setting yourself up for more heartbreak if you continue talking to her like this. and it's not fair of her to do this to you! Cut all ties with her. It's over! There is no point continuing anything with her. It sounds like she's trying to string you along

That's very hard to do after you have both been in love. I sure wouldn't like that .

Ohhh Wow! This sounds so much like ME! My Ex and I were together 5 years. She in one State and I was from another. I moved to her State for those 5 years. Now I'm back in MY State & have visited her 3 x since I've been back & we talk often. Depth of feelings I know are one sided, I'm still in love with her, and although she still tells me she loves me, its not the same feelings I have. I've always said though, I would rather have her friendship than nothing at all. I can't tell you how draining it is and often question if I should really cut ties altogether. Most we've gone w/o speaking is 8 months & then we reconnected because both of our Sfathers passed away on the same day. How weird is that? Each of us deals with our Ex's differently & we've had different experiences. While I STILL, 3 years later, talk with her, I still cry for what will never be again & I understand that. I just can't separate the heart from the brain. I'm just not made up that way. If I remained in the same town as her, I could never just stay in the friend zone. Everything is a process...remind yourself that and be gentle with yourself .

You should really do yourself a favor and make the break from her, no matter how hard that will be at first . You will not heal and won’t be able to move on as long as you are in love with her . And who , for that matter, can just fall out of love at the flick of a switch and then want to be friends ? Was she ever really in love ?

Yes it is srupid. You have yo tell them that you understand they can't love you but they should also understand you can't flip a switch amd stop loving them just to be at their disposal. They will lose a friend well tough shit you lost your love life is like that unfair, but what they are doing to you now is more unfair. Get your distance and move on, otherwise your life will pass you by while you're in the friend zone trap of that person and one day you'll realise they moved on a long time ago and built a life while you were still having your feelings manipulated and stood still.

Klondyke this sounds self-destructive. Stay away from her for a while.

It sounds too painful. Your ex is getting everything she wants while you get the scraps. How will you ever feel better if you try to maintain something that is only good for her and only painful for you? I'm not saying it's stupid. It's very hard to say goodbye. Just under those circumstances prolonging the friendship seems to be a disadvantage to you.

It's a recipe for heartache, for sure.

That'll keep your neurochemicals flowing. Being in proximity to her, maybe even a little physical touch every now and then, that'll keep your oxytocin and vassopressin high. It'll just hurt you.

At minimum, I'd suggest no contact for 2 weeks.

if you honestly loved her, just carry on loving her. if you are expecting things from her though ... then you don't love her. you just want to use her for your delights.

i would not call that stupid.

But you really need to be done with the person until you can get over that emotional hump.

I think so.
Unless you're totally over each other, that friendship will keep getting confusing.

there's two levels of maturity going on here.

since you don't want to be friends.. move on.

Does she know you're still in love with her?

Yeaaaa stupid

Extremely

Probly

Yes?