What would you prefer?

@PoetryNEmotion ok check inbox :)

@SW-User I did. I replied. You could bring it here. People would like to hear this. Anything that helps us think and promotes a healthy relationship is an option.

@SW-User Did you read what I posted up above, dear one? I cannot think of anything that would work. Do people become lax when they move in together? I think so. During dating, people tend to be extra careful about being nice, being caring, being attentive, etc. If they don't, that might be an early red flag. I also think that women tend to think that because they live with a man, the man will commit at some point. That isn't necessarily true. Some people will say that marriage isn't a commitment, but it is certainly a way of saying you have created a bond. And hopefully that bond will last a lifetime. I think many men will say also that if she is living with me, that is good enough. Why should we marry? And statistics show that those who live together before marriage are more likely to divorce than those who don't. I don't have the numbers but that is true. I am starting to think that the only other solution is to create a marriage contract. Finances don't particularly interest me in that people say it is cold and calculating to think like that ie a person will clean me out if we divorce. This contract would define clear ideas; for example, how many children would be acceptable to both; issues about intimacy ie if intimacy ended for whatever reason, what the consequences would be; and other such guidelines. I used to think it was mercenary, but now, not so much. I find that is acceptable in the beginning seems to change to the other person along the line. Otherwise, I am open to any suggestions.

@PoetryNEmotion neither of us could have kids. It worked well for us as we both liked our own space. And you know what? We missed each other too, so when we did meet up it was wonderful.

@Travelbug I am glad it worked out so well. Thanks for chatting. One more question: have all of your relationships been like this and successful too?

My marriage wasn't happy, but since then I've lived both alone and with someone and living alone works best for me.

@hopeespe oh I just replied before you did. I still find that hard to believe

@Jibby It is hard to believe but what I read is for the following reasons: Moving in to quick before recovering from a divorce, having different kids, the idea of divorce became simple, the growth of independence for both genders, quicker reactions on warning signs that aren't really warning signs (fear from the first).

@hopeespe it could also be few and numbers of third marriages. I would have been dead by my own hand after number two

@becca00f There is not the same social stigma as there was before about divorce.

@Jibby https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-intelligent-divorce/201202/the-high-failure-rate-second-and-third-marriages These are numbers from 2012-2014