How many couples are in a Female-led relationship?
It can be loosely defined or very structured but I think the FLR is right for a lot of couples.
51-55, M
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CoffeeFirst · 56-60, F
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CoffeeFirst · 56-60, F
@househubbi I'm talking about vanilla relationships: I think in most couples it just develops due to personalities, history, etc. My DD2 is Type A, stubborn, opinionated, smart. Her bf is also smart, but I think he wants to please her and keep her, so he's a little whipped. In the end, they lean on each other. I am not talking about FLR in the cuckold/fetish sense, that's another subject.
househubbi · 51-55, M
CoffeeFirst · 56-60, F
@househubbi Whatever your thing is, you do you, that's what I always say.
blindbob · 41-45
I wish my mother had been in charge instead of my father. We suffered a lot because of his poor decision-making. But you know, he was a man so he was taught he must naturally know better. When he left the country, my mother was thrust into a role she was not ready for. At first she was self-conscious about every decision, but gradually she learned to trust her own decision-making and we thrived. She paid off her student loans, funded a retirement account, bought and furnished a house, built an attached garage and shed, fenced the yard, learned home repairs. We never had our utilities turned off ever again. We had new clothes for school and Christmas. Three of the five kids were college educated, two of the five with post-grad degrees.
What I learned from that experience is women generally prioritize the needs of the family, while men tend to prioritize their individual needs; because women prioritize the needs of the family, they are generally more willing to make sacrifices, take shots to the ego, and endure humiliating situations if it will benefit the family, men would rather the family suffer than be humiliated or disrespected; women are less willing to take big risks, men are more willing to take big risks, sometimes they pay off big, but sometimes they lead to a lot of suffering; women see the big picture and all of its parts, men focus on a single thing at a time and overlook the details. All of these traits suggest that (generally speaking) women are better suited for leadership roles, while men are better when delegated with specific focused tasks with a concrete endpoint.
What I learned from that experience is women generally prioritize the needs of the family, while men tend to prioritize their individual needs; because women prioritize the needs of the family, they are generally more willing to make sacrifices, take shots to the ego, and endure humiliating situations if it will benefit the family, men would rather the family suffer than be humiliated or disrespected; women are less willing to take big risks, men are more willing to take big risks, sometimes they pay off big, but sometimes they lead to a lot of suffering; women see the big picture and all of its parts, men focus on a single thing at a time and overlook the details. All of these traits suggest that (generally speaking) women are better suited for leadership roles, while men are better when delegated with specific focused tasks with a concrete endpoint.
StargazingMan · 46-50, M
So basically you do house chores and she takes the reins, is that what you mean? She gets to be the alpha and you get to be the housewife? I don't think we need THOSE roles female-led or male-led. I think we are equals and as such we can do a partnership so we define the structure of the things we want to do or agree to do. But in my humble opinion, if you reverse your natural male role, not talking about being aggressive or a jerk, but being male, a man and losing the ability to lead, how do you think she will feel if she takes the reins? Anyway, just my two cents here, mate
CoffeeFirst · 56-60, F
@StargazingMan Huh? Male = naturally/biologically/socially destined to be the leader in a relationship?
StargazingMan · 46-50, M
@CoffeeFirst It is a subject of controversy and we can question its validity from a social, biological and even from a natural point of view. I think he doesn't need to lose his role and give it to her because maybe she doesn't want to be the leader. Maybe she is a successful leader outside the house, at work, and when she comes home she has to be the leader too? Maybe she wants this and good luck to them. But most women don't want to take the role of the leader in the relationship and this doesn't mean losing her strength and values as female. Maybe, that is why I said to him, maybe they can both work this out as having co-shared roles, not necessarily his role is to lead and do nothing and she gets the typical role of do everything in the house. I don't believe this. We can both do our jobs and roles and have some sort of co-lead. Eventually, one will lead based on what they want and how they feel. But to me, his post reeked in she is the leader, the absolute leader and I get the role of being the housewife. That means losing a lot more. But if he is happy, happy he is.
blindbob · 41-45
@StargazingMan some relationships look traditional from the outside, but actually the woman leads at home and the man leads outside of the home. for example, growing up i knew couples where the man just handed his check over to his wife every pay day. she gave him money for beer and then she managed all the finances. she made all of the decisions regarding the household and the family. she let him know what they could afford and what they couldn't. those relationships seemed to work well as there was mutual respect (she respected where the money was from and he respected her decision-making regarding the family's needs). i think it takes a lot of mutual trust and respect for that to work.
nevergiveup · M
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