My friend keeps going back to her lame ex

i feel like im 12 and having this problem but my friend who is even older than me has an on again off again relationship with her bf and every time i hear the same shit:

"I hate him"
"We can never be together again after this..."
"There's no way im going back"

But she does.

Dating time: 8 months. off and on like a bathroom light during that time.

I dont know how im supposed to react the next time he leaves her and she's crying about it. Am i a bad friend for being sick of the drama? ive told her to leave and she crawls back. the next time "its over" what do i do? I can't even listen to her be miserable when clearly that's what she's choosing every single time despite what everyone advised her to - leave the ass.

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Fernie · F

My friend did the exact same thing until I finally told her that I did NOT want to hear anymore about her relationship...and I meant it.

NiftyWhite · 46-50, F

@Fernie Honestly i would have totally said something like that but we have a major social engagement coming up in 2 weeks and telling her something like that would make it very awkward. So i bit my tongue this time. when it comes around again - and it will unless she withholds it from me - I think i'm going to really lose it.

Fernie · F

@NiftyWhite That makes sense. I hope you do tell her at some point...it's SO frustrating!

Sohryuden · 31-35, F

Isn't this really her problem at this point? You've done all you could for her, and have clearly been by her side. But she's not listening, and continues to repeat the same mistakes over and over again. You've got every right to be annoyed. She lacks any self-control, and perhaps self-esteem?...

Straight up tell her how you feel about this whole thing, even if it pisses her off, because this is getting out of hand...maybe tough love is what she actually needs.

NiftyWhite · 46-50, F

@Sohryuden Ya - like i mentioned to someone else up above, we will be at the same social engagement a few weeks from now so i wasn't rude about it. But this isn't the end of it. I'm sure of it. The next time idk what i will say though.

bijouxbroussard · F

No, you're not a bad friend. I once had a friend with an abusive boyfriend she kept going back to after he'd put her out in the middle of the night and she'd be knocking at my door at 1am. I had to cut her off because he was eventually threatening me for helping her. I finally told her, "sorry, I have strong survival instincts, even if you don't seem to." 😒

NiftyWhite · 46-50, F

@bijouxbroussard wow that's even worse - thanks for sharing. did she eventually leave him?

bijouxbroussard · F

@NiftyWhite No, that's the irony. He left her with two kids. And had no trouble staying away, once he'd gotten his hooks into someone new.

NiftyWhite · 46-50, F

@bijouxbroussard sounds like another winner!

Liquidplasma · 46-50, M

I know a girl who keeps getting attached to a guy who is known to cheat on woman .Unfortunatly it's a combination of chemistry,good talker maybe,possibly love, no matter how shitty the other person is.All you can do is watch hun, that's what I'm doing and the worst part I like her but can't have her.Life is fucked up

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Liquidplasma · 46-50, M

@NiftyWhite I totally understand ,deep down they know as well but they chance it because they don't want to be lonely

NiftyWhite · 46-50, F

Ya but why drag other people into the drama if you know in a second you are going to go back at the first crocodile tear?

Liquidplasma · 46-50, M

@NiftyWhite I'm still asking myself that question BUT I let go because frankly my life doesn't have time in it to waste

SW-User

Dude chicks like that are dumb

Fernie · F

@SW-User she's not a dude dimwit and men do the same thing

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