I need answers
Why is abuse all of a sudden okay when it's coming from a child as if children cannot be abusive?
18-21, F
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Im an ex foster carer and adopted three of my foster kids. Sadly I know first hand the violence from a traumatised child. They need very specific parenting and a lot of therapy before you move forward. There are books available as a first point of guidance but they really do need therapy where the primary carer is also present.
Have a look at Books by Dan Hughes and Sarah Naish. I especially loved Sarah Naishes book called 'but he looks so normal' it's meant for adoptive parents but you'll be able to appreciate her humour I'm sure.
For teachers there's a fab book called inside I'm hurting by Louise Bomber.
Have a look at Books by Dan Hughes and Sarah Naish. I especially loved Sarah Naishes book called 'but he looks so normal' it's meant for adoptive parents but you'll be able to appreciate her humour I'm sure.
For teachers there's a fab book called inside I'm hurting by Louise Bomber.
LiLShrimp · 22-25, F
I read your responses. It seems to me that you hate working with children, and you cannot handle their insolence to which you refer as “abuse”, and you despise the fact that they get away with it, unlike adults. Well, you seem to lack empathy and compassion for someone whose job is to teach children. Children still need plenty of time to grow and change; they hardly understand what they’re doing, and they’ll most likely feel sorry for their bad behaviors once they’re properly educated and disciplined. Adults, on the other hand, are way past that point. That’s why the law doesn’t punish “abusive” young children the same as abusive adults. They just simply don’t deserve it for doing something they don’t understand. In most cases, children who were born and raised in a dysfunctional family tend to be problematic, but that doesn’t mean they cannot change with a bit of compassion and proper guidance by good adults. Hating on them, like you are now, will just turn them into resentful and abusive adults later in life.
Of course I’m speaking of this without touching on the issue of mental illness, which is a completely different thing of its own.
Of course I’m speaking of this without touching on the issue of mental illness, which is a completely different thing of its own.
DearAmbellina2113 · 41-45, F
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WaryWitchWandering · 36-40, F
@dikplz I have children
Manipulation is something ALL humans do to a point.. and yes, children do it naturally
But we guide them, and shift behaviors. I talk to my children about their feelings and behaviors. I work my ass off to be sure my tiny humans won’t grow to be monsters or become easily gobbled up by monsters
That’s how I do it anyway. I have two children, and they don’t go around “damaging” anyone or anything. The worst that’s happened is maybe breaking their own toys 🤷🏻♀️ (And not with intent)
You seem to either have some weird dislike for children, or a weird view of them (either from experience/observation of those around you)
Children need to learn and have guidance, they don’t know yet how to act/react to situations. Their brains aren’t fully developed. Their feelings feel huge.
I don’t personally know any kids that are completely “cruel” or act with malicious intent. I am not around a ton of children… I just deal with my own and my nieces and nephews
Manipulation is something ALL humans do to a point.. and yes, children do it naturally
But we guide them, and shift behaviors. I talk to my children about their feelings and behaviors. I work my ass off to be sure my tiny humans won’t grow to be monsters or become easily gobbled up by monsters
That’s how I do it anyway. I have two children, and they don’t go around “damaging” anyone or anything. The worst that’s happened is maybe breaking their own toys 🤷🏻♀️ (And not with intent)
You seem to either have some weird dislike for children, or a weird view of them (either from experience/observation of those around you)
Children need to learn and have guidance, they don’t know yet how to act/react to situations. Their brains aren’t fully developed. Their feelings feel huge.
I don’t personally know any kids that are completely “cruel” or act with malicious intent. I am not around a ton of children… I just deal with my own and my nieces and nephews
dikplz · 18-21, F
@WaryWitchWandering I teach preschoolers for a living and while I love kids I can assure you what I am telling you these are things I've seen and dealt with since I started working with kids.
Nashuh · 18-21
@DearAmbellina2113 Yep, but no disciplined kid is acting that way. I got beatings but my siblings didn't and they are disrespectful younger brother is manipulative af and I try to knock his ego down by making him feel little like he does to me for no reason and my mom calls me names he's only 2 years younger than me yet is babied so bad he's lucky if he even gets a slap makes me soo mad when she awards him and comforts him from her "out of control" when we both know how she got down with me cords, wooden plates, glass. Just don't understand why bad kids don't get punished but the good ones do
WhateverWorks · 36-40
Looking over this comment section, they’ve got to be trolling .. It’s too dumbfounding to be genuine. @WaryWitchWandering
dikplz · 18-21, F
@WaryWitchWandering Not trolling those are real numbers look up those facts. I'm a big reader so I'm sorry to alarm you at these numbers that sound far fetched. It is simply the sad facts of life. My point in mentioning that bit about the relationship between jail and the mentally ill abused adults was to show that the cycle doesnt end between what caused what and whose fault it is. The bottomline is this, there should be at the very least consequences for intentional repeated learned behaviours. For example, a baby who bites. Do you continue to allow them to bite others because they dont know better or do you remove them from an group for a little bit every time they bite? That is a consequence learned from conditioning but a consequence nonetheless. The issue for me becomes when a child is older and does the same thing, there is no consquence at any educational center because the child does not have any realistic consequences. Timeouts do not work for children in that kind of setting because the child more than likely will not sit peacefully for one if they are already throwing things. There is no way to isolate them for reflection because of the rules set in place that required all caregivers to be in the same room as the child at all time. There is no flexibilty to that rule. That is what is troubling to me.
Sounds like you could potentially become an abuser yourself since you have such animosity toward them. The best thing you can do is find a job where you don't have to deal with children cause at best you aren't mentally equipped to handle it and at worst you're going to hurt one of them.
dikplz · 18-21, F
@canusernamebemyusername I have no animosity towards any child. Its just that I cannot hide that I am being traumatized by a child and that's a scary thought especially when they are young. I have animosity towards the adults who make it seem like its no big deal and that I should be able to take the abuse on the chin because its coming from a child. Instead of acknowledging that the child needs help and I am not equipped to give it to them, they'd rather blatantly refuse to acknowledge it because money is more important.
SusanInFlorida · 31-35, F
we apparently excuse spree killers because of a bad upbringing. why not foul mouthed kids?