Relationship issues š„°TL:DR
So basically my last post is too long so Iāll just make it short. Basically lately Iāve been a bit frustrated since Iām getting the idea of being a relationship (either when Iām bored or aroused). I also know that I should be patient about it but there are two problems: one is caring about what my family thinks and another is trying to find that āclickā with someone. Iāve been relationships before where I felt like my family wouldnāt approve since a lot of them are racist, homophobic, transphobic, (you get the idea) so they never last really long. And Iāve considered moving away bc of it but idk if that actually work. As for the āclickā, I sometimes feel that thereās a limit of ppl since thereās not much where I am (which is another reason why I wanted to move). Another thing is that I feel like recently Iāve been getting limerance bc of my last relationship (before the relationship we were bsf for years and went through everything together). So since then, Iāve (subconsciously) been attracted to ppl that I feel like my family would approve of and I believe this is affecting me horribly. And itās upsetting bc ik what I want in a partner or what I want my relationship to be like, but Iām kinda afraid if this pattern is going to keep repeating itself over and over. And whatās even better is that I really want a partner, even though Iām having these issues, so Iām not sure what to do to fix this or how to get over these urges. (Btw I hold grudges pretty easily so thatās another thing I want to fix)