I have never once wanted to be in a romance or married.

Marriage to me, growing up and watching it, on the face of it and when I heard others talk about it has never been something I've wanted. I have wanted to live with someone, wanted to be in a relationship and have that company forever but never wanted to be married.

Before the age of 22 I never read, watched or studied romance with wanting.

For me, I want to be just in someones company and do fun things. To me, love is assigning an importance to another and appreciating what they are. In active form, as oppose to passive is praising and validating. The only way I could understand it was through this mechanical process and how my body reacts.

Romance, seduction, marriage and all of what is courting, I am effectively blind to this entire part of the human experience. There is no instinct or anything. The compliments I get on my looks, my intelligence or my depth move past me like cars in the night.

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Busybee333 · 31-35, F

That's okay. Your love language is more practical - it does not make you devoid of romance. Perhaps, you link romance to insincerity somehow (playing that role of how it should be without being your real self). Real romance though, is showing that person you are with them in whatever your love language is - the maximum - when you love you give your maximum. Maybe you dislike flirting and seducing "forcibly" but you can perhaps naturally be seductive without even realizing - maybe someone will fall in love with the way you pour your coffee (even if it is an average normal way - for them, it will seem so beautiful). Etc. So it is not that you are unromantic, it is that your way of experiencing it and of communicating it is different. You are an adventurous soul who prefers mutual living experiences instead of words and gifts. That's fine - now go find someone who likes the same activities as you and you will see that marriage is not scary if you are with the right person. Besides, marriage is not mandatory. In this modern world, it doesn't matter what your status is - as long as you just love each other and love being with each other, through thick and thin. Just be you, do what you like - you might meet someone just like you, quite soon :)

twistedrope · 26-30, M

@Busybee333 Thanks for the advice. I've never seen it as a fault just a great difficulty in my life. Romance isn't something that I find myself wanting where it seems to come easy to others in a moment. Like those moments where they know it's worth pursuing, to me it takes days or weeks for the bullet to finally hit the mark.

Morvoren · F

Speaking as a person who is married. I found that it gives a new energy and feel to an existing relationship without an extra burden for us both. It also added more to the relationship I have with my in-laws, which is now close enough that they could practically be my parents.

twistedrope · 26-30, M

@Morvoren The thought of being called husband does mortify me but that thing you've got going on sounds cool. Some extra energy and the comfort of bein with someone you can depend on.

IronHamster · 56-60, M

People are different, but, the modern family court system is enough to turn off any aware young man, as the dangers of a marriage gone bad are a greater risk than Red 23 on the roulette wheel. Women are wondering where the good men are. They told us our masculinity was toxic, so we withhold that from them. They sued us after breaking the wedding vows, and they sued us for letting them live with us, so they no longer get room and board in exchange for mutual fun. Go your own way, strong independent don't need no man type of women.

matureaura · 41-45, F

SW stores incoming messages from other users that aren't your friend in the ''Requests'' folder under messaging. Try to give it a whizz once in a while

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