Can an adult explain please?

Story time -

My gf i dated when i was 18-24 ; on and off. I was crazy about her , and she was crazy about me (though i think it was the sex). Anyway, sex with her was insane.

We used to work together as bank tellers. We dated for quite sometime, and had alot of casual sex before we were official... eventually we got into some argument over issues with her ex and we broke it off.

A year or so later i ran into her and we hooked up again.. she had a bf who she swore she was going to break up with but never did.. but i started to date her since she was adament about it.

I later found out she was sleeping with a few others so i cut it off and left her.

I tried being friends with her, but all it did was make things worse. It wasn't until i decided to fully be done with her that i was able to move on with my life...

Yet to this day, i still find myself thinking of her.. and its ultimately because of how she made me feel safe, wanted, loved, and all the great sex.

Point is.. i dont you will ever get over him.. but you need to draw the line that youre done with him and ready to move on for youre own well being. You being friends with him is just you hoping something is going to change and you have a fear of missing out on him changing.. when he really isnt...

Focus on your own growth and developement.. and find someone that's good for your emotional and mental health. Someone that will treat you with respect while also complementing your sexual drive.

Best of luck.

We often want what we can't have of is bad for us... It's in our nature

As others have said, probably familiarity and a fear of starting a relationship over from scratch
And also the idea of completely losing someone you have such a history with
I’m sorry
It sounds like you know how bad they are for you, but I know taking the steps to get away from them can be so hard

Could probably use fixed personal boundaries that you respect for yourself and then let significant others know what they are.
If a need to be the only intimate partner for your male existed, it must be known as a precondition.

I don't think you crave the abuse. Maybe you put up with it in order to have him. You deserve better than this. Move on without him. You will be better without him in the long run. Your wounds will heal in time.

Poor self esteem and not feeling you deserve any better. If you truly valued yourself and recognized your worth, there wouldn’t be a snowball’s chance in hell of your tolerating his behavior.

He groomed you into being his sub. It’s not love you seek. You crave your dom. Be careful though, he could financially ruin you. At this point, it’s gonna be hard to tell him “NO” if you wants you to buy him anything.

You should be out there looking for, "Mr. Right" instead of settling for this guy who doesn't want a relationship.

Familiarity