Love & Attraction

Only logged in members can reply and interact with the post.
Join SimilarWorlds for FREE »

Do I have to break up with my gf because she is unemployed and seems unable to find work?

My gf was fired from her job last year on May 1. Her parents currently support her. She in unable to provide anything in our relationship financially and everything we do I have been paying for. I want to do things.. things like travel… and buy a home and move on with adult life.

She is a good girl from a good family. She is young and smart too. I don’t want to leave her but I’m starting to feel compelled.

Top | New | Old

Elisbch · M

The current trend (still hanging on from decades ago) is a different saying than what it used to be. Now it's "When the going gets tough, the weak and narcissistic bail and get going". 🤷.
You have to decide..... would she bail on you if the situation was reversed? One doesn't know for sure usually.

I can guarantee you this, if you think 1 year is a long time in a relationship to support someone that you supposedly want to have a relationship with, then I agree with @MarieUK when she says she thinks you'll be alone in your 60s. In my experience there are no quick fixes in relationships except the ones that usually destroy them. I don't hear anything about emotional support for her all I hear is a worry about money support. When said girlfriend gets a whiff of that, you won't have to worry about saying goodbye. 🤷 (ymmv)... but i doubt it.
.BTW.... if you don't want her and if she likes really older men that are wanting a long term meaningful relationship, have her come on here and look me up please.

MarieUK · 36-40, F

She says "Thanks for being supportive, good to know money is more important too you than Love" bio says your 46-50 and your user name I would say your going to end up alone in life when your in your 60's

View 5 more replies »

MarieUK · 36-40, F

@Muthafukajones rather than deflect onto me , maybe read your OP and rewrite it , also you posted it in the open looking for feedback if the feedback isn't what you expected thats life, anyway I am done with this chat now Byeee

Muthafukajones · 46-50, M

@MarieUK You’re a mean spirited person. It would seem you dislike your own life and enjoy judging others. That’s not what people need. All I asked for was help. You could have ignored but instead you chose to be mean.

Elisbch · M

I don't see where talk like that towards her is necessary. You did put this on an open form and it did sound from the get-go that money was more of a worry than other things.

I haven't been easy on you either. 🤷

All we are doing is stating the facts from what we gather from what you say and give feedback.
My disclaimer is.. I don't know @MarieUK and have never even spoken with her before but don't see how she's been any worse than anyone else, including myself.
.. @Muthafukajones

Lanie78 · 46-50, F

Going on what you've said, you're not fully invested in the relationship if money matters more anyway 🤷

View 2 more replies »

Muthafukajones · 46-50, M

@Lanie78 I don’t need her to pay my bills. I can’t afford to pay hers and mine too. She can live with me but she chooses to be supported by her parents in her own apartment. If it was just her living here and eating food it wouldn’t be a big deal but she can’t pay for anything.

Elisbch · M

Everyone's future is uncertain.
What we do in the present can help (we hope) to build the future we would like to have.... alone or with someone. The only way to find out what your future is, is to stay the course and prepare constantly the very best we can. Being supportive and showing someone you want to be that for them is many times worth more to someone than any monetary value.

Muthafukajones · 46-50, M

@Elisbch ok that’s why I’ve stayed so far. I guess I’ll give it some more time.

Elisbch · M

I'm not so sure what you're reading are judgments. I think maybe if you read between the lines you may find your answers. 🙂

Good luck.

View 1 more replies »

Elisbch · M

I did say what I meant.... based on what you said your thinking/feelings are in your original post.
No offense meant, but when money appears it's the main thing that seems to be of importance..... ?
@Muthafukajones

Muthafukajones · 46-50, M

@Elisbch I live in an expensive city and the cost of living is crushing me. Having an unemployable partner is raising my anxiety to very high levels.

Elisbch · M

Correct me if I'm wrong but I think you said she chose to have her parents support her in her own apartment? @Muthafukajones

You see, in your last paragraph that same tone seems to ring through.... me me me me is suffering. There is no doubt your girlfriend is feeling this already as well.

Everyone has gone through extraordinarily hard times in one way or another (and many) lately in the last 3 years or so and I don't see it getting any better any time soon. To make relationships work we have to make sacrifices. Personally I'd rather be sitting in my living room watching television and listening to radio shows with someone that loves and supports me and vice versa than worry about where the money is going to come from for the next cruise or whatever.
We all adjust and somehow live with what we have in the end but for many, being alone and loneliness can and will die some take on entitling different meanings when one get decades older than you are.

You only have to make one decision. If your lifestyle and what you want is more important than being there for her then that answers your question.

IamCuriousBabe · 51-55, F

Not a good reason to break up, but if it's starting to put a strain on things, then you're going to start to feel contempt and you're going to ask her to leave sooner or later.

Muthafukajones · 46-50, M

It’s late a night here where I am and I’m worried so I thought I’d write down my thoughts and get some ideas about what to do but everything here so far has been solid judgment and assumptions and me. I’m
Just in a difficult situation and don’t know what to do.

MarieUK · 36-40, F

@Muthafukajones rather than taking advice in here why not sit down and talk with her ask about retraining for a different type of employment, she maybe having the same thoughts but needs a little push into a new direction far better to talk things out than online forums

Muthafukajones · 46-50, M

@MarieUK I’ve brought that up quite a few times. She doesn’t want to do that.

DarkSideoftheMoon · 36-40, F

How old is she? Lives with her parents and cant keep a job? I think you might need to find someone more on your level, no offence but even though money isnt the most important thing i think realistically its nice to have a partner who can contribute to finances especially how expensive life is at the minute. I wouldnt want to work my butt off to support my partner who contributes nothing to the relationship. Would make me feel taken advantage of.

Muthafukajones · 46-50, M

@DarkSideoftheMoon she’s about your age.

DarkSideoftheMoon · 36-40, F

@Muthafukajones listen. Dont ever settle for less out of fear for being alone. Being alone is much better than settling for someone you arent connecting with. If you are seeing those red flags than go. Money isnt the most important thing but certain things arent aligning and you know shes not the one listen to ur heart

This comment is hidden. Show Comment

Monalisasmith86 · 41-45, F

I’m sure if you weren’t working and she had to take care of you she’s dump you , but she comes from a good family, that’s tough because if her father or mother pass away she’ll inherit their money wouldn’t she, hmmmmm that’s a tough one isn’t it

Muthafukajones · 46-50, M

@Monalisasmith86 when I said good family I meant that they are good people who are smart and hard working. Kind to her and their other children. I didn’t mean anything else.

Add a comment...