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Once someone is of the age of consent (18) do you think it’s ok for them to be in a relationship with a person of any age

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Torsten · 36-40, M

@HotDad you do realize attraction isnt just looks alone right and as you get older you do not find younger people overly attractive when their personality differs so much and you have nothing in common. they more come off annoying

MiserableAtBest · 22-25, F

Fuck no. Sure, it’s legal, but that doesn’t make it okay. I’m 19, and I can promise you that my 18th birthday wasn’t some magical switch into adulthood, it wasn’t like I woke up that day and was suddenly a mature adult who had their life together.

It is UNBELIEVABLY easy to take advantage of someone who is considerably younger than you, because whether you like it or not, you are automatically given the upper hand in the relationship. You know more than they do. You have more experience. And when that is the case, manipulating them becomes a simple task.

Keepitsimple · 51-55, F

Legally it’s ok but at my age I want a man who can relate to my life experiences and is mature and comfortable in their skin. I don’t want to babysit.

Adogslife · 61-69, M

@Keepitsimple So true, and for both sexes. I’m looking for a lover and partner, not a dependent.

Keepitsimple · 51-55, F

@Adogslife Agreed 👍

Adogslife · 61-69, M

No. I’m about to be 62. Why would I date someone that’s 18, regardless of its legality? Some disparities are just morally wrong.

spjennifer · 61-69, T

@Adogslife I am of a similar age to you and I wouldn't date an 18 year old either but Love isn't a "moral" reaction, morality is a learned behaviour, it's the things we are taught are wrong based on someone's opinion, skirts and dresses above the ankles were once considered "immoral". Love is more than that, it's chemical, it's emotional, it's physical so who are we to say it's "morally wrong" for there to be a large disparity between the ages of a couple if they actually love each other, as long as they are both of legal age? It's the same thing as saying that interracial or same sex couples are "morally wrong", what hogwash... 😊

Adogslife · 61-69, M

@spjennifer The lines of morality certainly do change over time, but not as much as the moral compass. For logic to work, it has to work in both directions. So, take that average 18-21/yr old woman and ask her if she’d like to date someone that’s 62.

I’ll bet the reaction would be something akin to, ”That’s creepy.” And she’d be correct. She should be well off the radar, as should I for her.

spjennifer · 61-69, T

@Adogslife Oh hey, don't get me wrong, I don't disagree that it's unusual and most adults would consider it creepy but I know couples with a 10+ year disparity in age who've been happily married for 30+ years so that doesn't mean it's wrong, it's just not the "norm". When I was 18 I dated a 35 year old, oh my, the horror, gay and twice my age, in the 70's, I could just see the fingers and tongues wagging at us but it was good while it lasted and we didn't care about the age gap, we lived and loved for 4 years together...

Miram · 31-35, F

No.

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PetalsOfLilac · F

@Miram I'm assuming the latter for most of it

basilfawlty89 · 31-35, M

@Miram my reasoning is not in any way related to approving of it. I don't think it's ethically or morally correctly, however legally it is and I can't say what an adult should or shouldn't be allowed to do. Hence my answer. I wouldn't dream personally of dating an 18 year old and would frown upon it if someone I know did.

Miram · 31-35, F

@basilfawlty89

and I can't say what an adult should or shouldn't be allowed to do.

I can. Because being 18 isn't some magic switch into adulthood and I have young women and a teenager to care about. If I disagree with their bad choices, which we agree aren't necessarily morally right, I will express it and work against it.

deadgerbil · 26-30

It's ok legally. Morally, there are many situations where a relationship should raise a lot of eye brows even if a person is of age.

PetalsOfLilac · F

@deadgerbil i completely agree. Like thinking about where i was when i was 18 i honestly find it gross that people that age can be (and are) in relationships with people who are 30-40. I was so easily manipulated back then too, i know people can be different but its a gross thought to me

PetalsOfLilac · F

It sounds like i said its gross that 18 year olds date 30-40 year olds
But i meant it the other way around, its gross people 30-40 want to and do date girls who are 18 and basically still in school, easily manipulated, and probably dont have their life or morals together yet

PetalsOfLilac · F

Or boys, goes both ways probably

Mrsbetweenfatandfit · 26-30, F

The creepiest idea I’ve heard grown men or women say about sex with someone younger than they are is “ as long as they’re legal it’s fine” how I hear that is “ if it was legal to have sex with a person younger I would” it’s completely creepy and I would consider why someone much older than me ( when I was 18) was so interested in having sex with me. I’ve never wanted to be a fetish for anyone. Look at some of these peoples groups that have over a dozen times now they like “ younger” think “ younger and older should be together” “ age gap relationships”. If you only want to be desired for how few years you’ve been on the planet then those older people are for you. I’d be worried though if any of them since young age for sex is so important may have been sex tourists in the past. Traveling to countries where they don’t protect their children. That’s what I’d be thinking of as a person much older than me was so interested in my young age.

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Classified · M

@Mrsbetweenfatandfit I don't recall such a thing. Maybe I already muted him..😅

Mrsbetweenfatandfit · 26-30, F

@Classified you’re not missing anything! 😆

Classified · M

@Mrsbetweenfatandfit Mutes are quality of life. 😋

SW-User

I raise an eyebrow at certain large age gaps. In general I think people should stick to a range around their own age. No that doesn’t mean I think a 30 year old who is attracted to a 19 year old is a “pedophile”; we should not misuse terminology. But I think a relationship with a large age gap is more likely to be exploitative in some way. Especially if the younger person is financially dependent on the older person. The older person with their additional life experience should understand that a relationship with someone that young, even if legal, is potentially not appropriate.

Society has also historically been more accepting of older man/younger woman compared with any other combination, but it shouldn’t matter what the genders are.

eMortal · M

Once they are both legally adults, they can date who they want. But anything that’s out of the ordinary gets special attention from the society. Mixed race couples, same sex couples, fat/slim, tall/short, rich/poor Etc.
Just be ready.

HijabaDabbaDoo · F

Ew no. I find it creepy when guys wait for that cut off point. Just because they're 18 doesn't mean they're suddenly emotionally and mentally mature.

eMortal · M

@HijabaDabbaDoo a lot of 25+ yo out there are still mentally immature.

HijabaDabbaDoo · F

@eMortal Yes but they're in a far more secure position to make life choices. Both socially and biologically.
Generally speaking of course.
18 year old was far more vulnerable than 25 year old me.

OldBrit · 61-69, M

In UK age of consent is 16 and there is no legal issue with them being in a relationship with anyone of any age.

My personal view is that morally there's an issue there.

AJS30 · 31-35, M

The legal age of consent isn't 18 everywhere. There are many different ages of consent in the world. There are three in the US alone -- 16, 17 and 18. In the US, 18 is the age of majority which is when the government starts calling people legal adults. Most US states have 16 as the legal age of consent. Having said all that, age of consent laws are bullshit and shouldn't exist. They're unnecessary, arbitrary, repressive, blanket laws that violate youth sexual rights. Age of consent laws aren't needed to punish sexual crimes against young people. Sexual crimes against adults are punished without age of consent laws. Society should do the same thing with minors as with adults. Judge on a case-by-case basis and only punish actual crimes and not needlessly taboo, innocent things. People don't need to be 18 to be in consensual age-gap relationships or any consensual relationships. Age-gap relationships require consenting people not consenting adults.

hippyjoe1955 · 61-69, M

@AJS30 The age of consent does change with the political winds. In Canada there used to be two ages of consent. One for girls and one for boys. The girls was 14 and the boys 16. It was understood that girls matured earlier than boys so..... I do believe that there should be some age limitations and to say that sex at any age is good is simply wrong. A child simply can not consent because they have no idea what sex entails. However to say a young woman who is 17 years and 11.5 months old is under the age of consent does seem a bit silly.

ImperialAerosolKidFromEP · 51-55, M

@AJS30 may you be forgiven

spjennifer · 61-69, T

@AJS30 Wrong, "Age of Majority" isn't 18 everywhere, Alabama and Nebraska set it at 19 and in Mississippi it's 21.

itsok · 31-35, F

No.

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SW-User

@itsok I like how you think. So you are saying age is not a determining factor but maturity is?

itsok · 31-35, F

@SW-User maturity is a determining factor, and I think there are many others. No 18 year old’s brain is fully developed. Many don’t have the skills to keep themselves safe. While I don’t think prefrontal cortex maturation is necessary for every relationship, there seem to be more dangers when one person is very young.
As one of many people here who were taken advantage of by older people, and as someone who is very close to a handful of teenagers I care about very much, I am wary of big age gaps. I also cannot personally imagine myself, in my 30s, wanting a relationship with an 18 year old. I have nephews older than that, that seem so young to me.
I won’t say that any age gap relationship is awful. I was with a 26 year old when I turned 18. But what that relationship consisted of was having someone who took care of me for the first time, and I am very grateful I was not taken advantage of in the same way ive seen many people be.

SW-User

@itsok And hence proved. You are Beauty with brains!

I like your approach towards this topic.

SW-User

Fuck no.

Carla · 61-69, F

@SW-User !!!!!

CrazyMusicLover · 31-35

No and the age of consent differs from a country to country. It's 15 here so that's absolutely not okay.

SW-User

@CrazyMusicLover 15 is so young !!!

CrazyMusicLover · 31-35

@SW-User It is. 😖 It's 13 in Japan and when I learned about that I lost another bit of respect towards them as a country. That's sick.

Repete · 61-69, M

After they are a legal consenting adult they have the right to date anyone they want. Legally is a legal thing, morals is another story .
I’m not going to get involved with someone that could be my daughter ( I’m talking about age here just to clarify) to me it would be a moral issue but I also don’t think just because I think that that I have a right to dictate how others must think about it.
Simple answer is yes once an adult it’s up to the two involved no one else in my opinion.

spjennifer · 61-69, T

In most US States, the "Age of Consent" is 16, the "Age of Majority" or when they legally are an "Adult" varies between 18 to 21. Once they are legally an Adult they can date whoever they want. Being in a relationship with someone who is a lot older than you can have its challenges simply because of their life experiences and energy levels. While most would say an age difference of more than 10 years is "morally" wrong, who are we to determine what love is between consenting adults...

WhateverWorks · 36-40

Generally speaking, it’s none of my business, but if I had a daughter who is 18 dating someone 30+ I’d be tearing into him for grooming or taking advantage my kid. Even someone in their late 20s is in a completely different place mentally/in their life than a kid fresh out of high school.

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Carazaa · F

Reportable offenses

-18 is the age of consent, but it is illegal with a school teacher or coach to date them. That is prison.

-14 is age of consent if it's with someone one or two years older, but if there is 10 years or more difference it's called "Lude and lascivious acts upon a minor."

-16 is age of consent if its with someone younger than 22,

-under 16 and over 22 it is statutory rape

-under 14 its statutory rape with any age.

-Anyone NOT consenting it is called rape.

braveheart21 · 61-69, M

The laws are different in each country... 16 is the age of consent in the UK and 18 she is classed as an adult and do what or who she wants... @Carazaa

Carazaa · F

@braveheart21
I mentioned the law in most states, and in California.

Carazaa · F

@braveheart21 18 is prison in most countries if its a coach ot teacher over her probably UK too.

CountScrofula · 41-45, M

I think it's pretty normal for an 18 year old to want to be with older people.

I think it's extremely unhealthy and predatory for someone my age to want to be with an 18 year old.

Roadsterrider · 56-60, M

Okay? Probably okay, but probably also not a good idea. Very little of what I thought was going to happen when I was 18 has happened, I went in a totally different direction. Most of my peers have changed direction as well. What struck my fancy at 18 is completely different that what strikes it now. I got married at 19, divorced at 21 and moved on. What seemed like a marriage made in heaven didn't work because we were young and changed as we matured. I wouldn't recommend anyone commit to a serious relationship till they have lived a little.

YellowJello · 26-30, F

I think some parts of this question are unclear. For example by "any age" it has to be also the age of consent or above

Driver2 · M

Not really , I think their should be boundaries that go beyond laws.

ever see when sea turtles are born ?

braveheart21 · 61-69, M

Of course... Once they are of consenting legal age they can choose who they want of any age...

Rhode57 · 56-60, M

Yes why not their an adult and its no ones business but the 2 of them .

hippyjoe1955 · 61-69, M

If they are of age then it is none of my business.

SW-User

Depends on the age difference though.

Dshhh · M

that is the law.
but i have known some, who were ready early,, and others,
waited still longer.

I dont think there is anything wrong with it.
but many will think the older, is somehow tricking the younger.
age cap is cool