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MiserableAtBest

22-25, F

United States

In a Relationship

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★ му σηℓу gσαℓ ιη ℓιƒє ιѕ тσ ∂єѕтяσу тнє ѕρα¢є-тιмє ¢σηтιηυυм ★

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1-25 of 2055

Know that if we’re ever looking at a map together, I am doing it performatively

Hope you figure it out tho

I have this theory that men invented pool tables so they could watch each other bend over

In a world full of parties and drugs you will find me at home on drugs

I’ve never met a medical receptionist that I believed wanted me to live

Born to be a lover girl, forced to be funnier than everyone I meet 😔

hey quit annoying me or I will inform you of a behavioral pattern that is noticeable to other people but I can tell you’re not yet aware of

If I was a detective I’d probably be like “c‘mon tellllll meeeeeeee, I pinky swear I won’t tell anyone”

One time this guy wouldn’t stop hitting on me at a bus stop and my brain short circuited

So I told him I had syphilis. It worked!

This cannot be the cost of living after Jesus paid for our sins and all that

“He’s my rock”

Yea, tied to your feet and dropped into the ocean 🙄

Next time a man tells a joke and it’s funny I’m gonna wait until I’m home to laugh

Can’t ever let them win

Idc if people think I’m pretty I need to know what song I remind them of

THAT’S the real question

In honor of mental health awareness month I will be getting so high I won’t even remember my mental illnesses to begin with 💅

One time this guy told me he used ChatGPT to make his grocery list and I considered stabbing him

Do you ever just have this deep seated desire to bother people? I swear I have clown blood

Fact: the only way to stop eating chips and salsa once you start is to be shot by a sniper

Last time I smoked with a man he put on the lord of rings soundtrack and I haven’t been the same since

Coke rehab should be 3 mfs on coke talking to you while you’re not on coke

oh wait, hang on, I almost forgot it’s oxy o’clock

I fell between the wall and my bed frame, would anyone care?

I could never abuse substances, I love substances

If we date, my drugs are your drugs

Except the opiates, those are all mine

If I say “goodnight” and you reply with “gn” I hope you never wake up actually

If these gas prices keep climbing I might just start snorting lines of cocaine and run everywhere

Will things ever be fergalicious again?

1-25 of 2055