I'm afraid of quiet

Promise I’m fine when I’m not
see my minds spinning round and around with my thoughts
I’m a pot with no lid and the water is bubbling
'bout to boil over the temperatures doubling

Siren alarm in the night and I can’t stop the noise
'cos I swear there’s a fire somewhere
I can’t see it or hear it or smell it or taste it
but what if I’m not prepared how will I face it

If I could calm myself down
just breath in and breath out
take a second let go of control
then my mind could be free

But what if i drop the ball for just a moment
who would pick it up, a friend or an opponent?

Can’t I just calm down
stop the sound
take a breath and just relax
but sometimes
I’m afraid of quiet
and what that would mean

Cry a lot, fill a room with my tears
I’m like Alice, except I’m the only mad one here
Wish I could face what is coming
but I keep on running I’m chasing the bunny

Did I wake you, my noise was too loud?
I’m sorry next time I’ll turn my grief down
If my turmoil troubles you I can just leave and I’ll cry in another room

I swear that I’m in control
Or least I will be

Working on
regulation
affirmation
and therapy
breath control
become a better me

Can’t I just calm down
stop the sound
take a breath and just relax
but sometimes
I’m afraid of quiet
and what that would mean

Tossing and turning
The suns in the sky
It’s 5am
I can’t close my eyes

Want to turn off
Just have some peace
white noise is here
And I can’t sleep

Tossing and turning
The suns in the sky
It’s 5am
I can’t close my eyes

Want to turn off
Just have some peace
white noise is here
And I can’t sleep

Tossing and turning
The suns in the sky
It’s 5am
I can’t close my eyes

Want to turn off
Just have some peace
white noise is here
And I can’t sleep

I swear that I’m in control or least I will be
I am ruler of my mind and it will bow to me, to me

But sometimes, I'm afraid of quiet and what that would-