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Just a thought

If someone has lived a life of harm, do they still deserve compassion?

This morality question is something I often think about because I see more and more people shutting the door on others. Maybe it is the first emotional reaction when hearing about the misdeeds of others that shapes that judgment, but should the door really be shut so quickly?

I know that when people hear my stories and get to know me, they tell me I am not that same person or that I was just surviving. I was lucky that I never landed in serious trouble, and I found mentors who eventually led me down the right road. Not everyone gets that opportunity, and even more often, people receive no compassion from others to help with rehabilitation.

Maybe it is not our responsibility to care, and maybe it is not our responsibility to forgive, but I remember plenty of moments in my life when I needed to ask for forgiveness because I made a mistake or was stuck in a selfish mindset. I know I have benefited from the kindness of others who chose to guide me, and I am grateful that people gave me that gift.

I did not have the best upbringing, and I did not have many resources at the start to help me, but I truly was blessed with the people who walked into my life.

When I think about the people I love and care for, and the possibility that I might have children someday, I know that to the best of my ability I will guide them through life. They might take a bad turn or make a bad decision that follows them throughout their life, and I hope that if I am not the guide they choose to put their trust in, kindness still finds its way to them. This is not about avoiding responsibility, but I do believe people can change and come back from their past.
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Boeing · 36-40
These thoughts are going around me the past days.
I find it triggering, I had been somewhat ejected from my community for being too troublesome and not just once. Like you, I don't come from an easy past, didn't come with all the necessary foundations from early on.

The way the path lead me, I've always been more forgiving than looking for justice and lately I am questioning if I should be harder and exercise my kung fu forms bit more. I think I am too soft, in expense of doing things right sometimes. And too forgiving, instead of showing another what is happening.

Perhaps then we all are tools and we all have different things we are build for.

I think because of my upbringing, I would constantly find myself near the dark and the bad ones, and trying to help them, until I stayed too long around and became one of them, until my own darkness manifested.
I feel I was never truly been taken seriously enough to be forgiven. Or is it forgiveness I am looking for myself from myself.

I carry a distorted mind these past days so my words are reflecting that. And so, in my good days I too believe like you, that I have changed, but then some other days.
For the most part though, more days I am stabilizing myself in my new identity, of having changed.