why do so many people confuse abusive behavior towards them as kids and later as adults with love?

Not everyone is able to identify abusive behaviour in a line up.

Take toxic for example. Some people use that label for any given thing they don’t like.

Do many people do this?

How is a person who has never known a different kind of "love" supposed to not confuse it? Especially a child

Manipulation from the abuser paired with codependence from the victim, that's the formula.

People often parent the way they were parented, unfortunately. Some claim Biblical precedent (“spare the rod”, etc). Basically what being hit teaches children is that if you’re bigger and stronger than someone, hitting them to get them to do what you want is acceptable behavior. And people think video games are what make kids violent !