Another reason I don't do well with monogamy is, be it traditional monogamy or new age monogamy, I don't need anything that comes with it.

In traditional/traditional leaning monogamy the man focuses on making money and the woman does most if not all of the house stuff. This is loosely like the relationship I was just in. When I was working normal hours we would split the chores; I would do all the meal prep/cooking and clean the kitchen and she did the laundry and cleaned the rest of the apartment. We split expenses in a way that was proportionate with how much we each earned (I earned more).

If I was working 7 days a week she would do all the chores and cooking while I did my best to clean up after myself and I'd just pay for most everything.

The thing is, easier though it was on me, easy and worth it are two different things. I had and have no problems tending to all my own domestic needs as a bachelor even when I am working 7 days a week; I had developed methods and systems that allow me to meal prep and clean even when I work every day.

Sex on demand? Yes that was nice but honestly I am apt enough at getting sex that I dont need to employ someone to fill that position constantly. When I need ass so bad that it becomes an issue I clean myself up and go out and get some 🤷🏽‍♂️. And honestly the "hunt" adds to the thrill and makes for more exciting sex than domestic sex tbh. Especially when you happen upon a freaky one 🥴.

The emotional support side of it...be it good or be it bad I just don't really need a whole lot of that honestly. I am good at being alone. I think something in me was rubbed raw when I was young due to the emotional conditions I was raised in. I just don't feel the need for constant closeness and emotional intimacy and when I do feel I need it I just go take a trip to see my family or friends and I'm good.

Kids? I dont want any. This nation as it currently stands deserves not to be perpetuated. Maybe in better times and/or better places.

As for new age monogamy...my balls are too good at producing testosterone for that.

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RebelFox · 36-40, F

Enjoy this feeling while it lasts and have fun.

I am extremely independent as well and often feel uncomfortable in relationships. I can get laid so easily, it’s boring. I can do all the chores fine, I don’t even really like someone touching my shit anyway. I care for my son in my own because people don’t like kids anymore, that’s the world we live in. While I’d rather die than be in a traditional relationship ever again, for me, an emptiness has developed. I’ve lost people, my family is dead, as time goes on things change. I had a lot of fun and I’m glad I did! But these days I’m seeking a connection, not attachment, but I dunno, proof that anybody gives a fuck at all about my son or I. I don’t have it figured out, but I agree with you that the usual ritual of monogamy is monotonous. It’s beautiful to have the freedom to choose for yourself what is right.

Eternity · 26-30, M

@RebelFox i feel you, and yeah my feelings may change later in life.

But one of the unfair advantages we men enjoy is that if my mindset changes later in life I'll have a far easier time finding someone to be monogamous with than a woman who followed my same life path.

Men who take care of themselves and stay ambitious tend to get more valuable to the opposite sex with age not less so 🤷🏽‍♂️.

RebelFox · 36-40, F

@Eternity Hopefully you find yourself outside of your ego. You have many unknown adventures coming your way. Best of luck to you.

Eternity · 26-30, M

@RebelFox i dont think that escaping the ego should be the goal of a person who seeks balance, and that is what I seek. If the ego served no purpose we would not have one as it would be a waste of valuable calories and mass to develop the structures that channel the concept, and nature is efficient.

When the ego is overdone it leads to a very toxic, selfish, shallow, and shortsighted individual but a healthy ego is essential for understanding the world as it is and being able to move effectively within it without being worn away by its abrasive nature.

Extremes are not sustainable. Balancing the ego with the id and the other aspects of the self, though difficult, is a worthy endeavor that leads to self mastery and contentment.

Those that seek extremes such as utter detachment from the ego, or even complete dedication to it, should be aware of the consequences and obstacles that are innate to such a life path. Wanting such an existence is not inherently wrong, all walks of life are as valid as each other in that they all pass the time, but one that walks a path without anticipating its unique twists and turns will grapple with perpetual disappointment and frustration.

For example: Hindu monks, who seek detachment from all things through ego denial--and ultimately--Moksha, have developed a very rigid discipline specifically to deal with the challenges of living without the aid of one's ego. Without such a discipline, they would argue that such a path would be tortuous if not impossible.

RebelFox · 36-40, F

@Eternity I don’t really agree with all of this. I’ve had different experiences than you, but be well

Eternity · 26-30, M

@RebelFox You dont have to agree. You are right; we live two separate and different lives. What works for me probably wont work for you as I am wired differently.

RebelFox · 36-40, F

@Eternity To each their own 🖤