I Prayed Today

I prayed for God to end my life, to end the misery. I just want to die without the "he was a selfish coward who took his own life" attached to me. It's stupid. Even if there was a God, he wouldn't do this for me, even if it's the only thing I've ever asked for! And don't even start on me with that "what about your son" crap. I'm aware that I have a son.