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We can't be your therapist here, but you sure deserve better than to go through this. It also sux looking for a good therapist and the search can be worse than your problems sometimes...
So maybe keep us posted a little bit and also the American Psychological Association (are u in the USA?) can tell you which psychologists are actually licensed & registered and then check out the reviews and when you first go try to get that free consultation provision.
When you are able to truly grieve your losses and trust your therapist that she/he can help see you through,,,then you will have huge amounts of anger and inner chaos.... but then eventually see clear to paving your own future life.
Please love yourself to a fault...while working on things..
XXXXOOOOOO!!!!
So maybe keep us posted a little bit and also the American Psychological Association (are u in the USA?) can tell you which psychologists are actually licensed & registered and then check out the reviews and when you first go try to get that free consultation provision.
When you are able to truly grieve your losses and trust your therapist that she/he can help see you through,,,then you will have huge amounts of anger and inner chaos.... but then eventually see clear to paving your own future life.
Please love yourself to a fault...while working on things..
XXXXOOOOOO!!!!
Keepitsimple · 51-55, F
Floridian · 70-79, F
@mljenkins As you can probably see, this isn't a safe place to try to work through something as earth shattering as the abuse you describe. You deserve to have a full life with happiness and peace. If you're not in therapy now, you really should talk to someone face-to-face, someone who can help you find coping strategies that work for you. Grieving would be part of it, yes, but not the only part.
lasergraph · 70-79, M
mljenkins · 51-55, F
@xixgun I assure you this is not sick fiction. This was back in the late 70s, early 80s, but the sexual abuse started in the early 70's. He would say to me, "come here and let me diddle you." There are just to many details that I will not go into now, but I remember every bit of what happened.
Social Services, as it was called in Danville, IL back then, was called a few times. They came to my home twice and we went to the office once. My mom told me i had big f*cking mouth and that i wasn't supposed to tell anyone what went on in our house. She also told me that i better not say a f*cking word to those people or she would make me pay. My childhood was tumultuous at best. The things that went on in that house were things that should have never happened. I have one son and 3 grandchildren and i would kill anyone that would touch any of them. I am the last person that would ever make something like that up but thanks for trying to discount my truth, I will not be silenced as before.
I admit that this may not be the best avenue of outlet, but I have been coming here for years, since before when it was Experience Project. I have always came here to get what was inside out of me. I know there are jerks here, I just needed to get this out.
Social Services, as it was called in Danville, IL back then, was called a few times. They came to my home twice and we went to the office once. My mom told me i had big f*cking mouth and that i wasn't supposed to tell anyone what went on in our house. She also told me that i better not say a f*cking word to those people or she would make me pay. My childhood was tumultuous at best. The things that went on in that house were things that should have never happened. I have one son and 3 grandchildren and i would kill anyone that would touch any of them. I am the last person that would ever make something like that up but thanks for trying to discount my truth, I will not be silenced as before.
I admit that this may not be the best avenue of outlet, but I have been coming here for years, since before when it was Experience Project. I have always came here to get what was inside out of me. I know there are jerks here, I just needed to get this out.
lasergraph · 70-79, M
@mljenkins Sometimes talking about it will help you heal and I hope that in fact helps you. Laws are different today but I am afraid there are some kids out there, like you, who are being taken advantage of. Teachers, doctors, and others are legally required to report suspected abuse now days and I hope things are a little better than they were. I feel the same about my grand kids. Anyone touches them, there is nowhere they can hide.
Colourflame · 18-21, F
I feel like I saw this on Quora?
mljenkins · 51-55, F
@Colourflame that wasn't me nor my story