I Have Random Thoughts
Competitive or just sore loser?
Just the other day, I’ve been to one of my little brother’s basketball practice sessions. It was a special occasion, and he and his peers got to play with Kikinda’s (my home town) first team line up. Just by looking at the faces of the children, it was clear to everyone that their main goal was achieved – to inspire the next generation of basketball pla<x>yers to strive higher and dream bigger. I, of course, recorded all of it on my phone, later that night had all of our family watch it alongside our relatives that were visiting at the time (it was my birthday). While we all enjoyed watching them play and trying to decide who had a bigger smile, the kids or the pros, someone brought up Aleksa’s less than accepting nature towards losing.
You see, Aleksa and games have a history that stretches throughout his entire life. From the days he could first roll a dice or understand dominoes, he has had anger fits when he would lose. And every time he would, a term would crop up – he is very competitive. But what does it mean to be competitive? Most people identify it with the desire to win, and the desire to not lose. I mean, let’s face it, no one likes to lose, it’s a trait human beings have in common across the globe.
I have a problem with this interpretation, though. Because, if all we want to do is win and/or not lose, and we get angry about it if we don’t get our way, we often get labeled a sore loser. So what is the difference? Let’s get back to the example of my brother and his dominoes. He loved winning. He would get the biggest grin on his face when he would pull of a long streak of dominoes while watching his opponent’s domino pile grow bigger. However, should the positions be reversed and he would find himself on the losing end, he would knock down his own dominoes, throw them across the table, or kick it to break the domino pattern. He would call the game stupid, and refuse to play. And more often than not, he would begin to cry. The same happens when he plays video games. He shouts at the screen, yells how it’s not fair, accuses the A.I. of cheating, or kicks and pushes the table, and yes, you guessed it – he cries. It’s not a nice thing to say, especially when a child is concerned, but my little brother is a sore loser.
Now, the big question is, does that also make him intensely competitive, as my family members claim? It is a common misconception, and I disagree with them. Because while it is true that he is loves winning, and will compete over and over again for the rush of victory, he lacks something special that would make him truly competitive. In my own opinion, what he lacks is a very important subconscious desire. I have noticed it present in pretty much all competitive individuals, especially those that compete on a professional level. And while this might just be a subjective observation on my end, I believe that those truly competitive carry a strong desire to win, as well as an equally strong subconscious desire to lose.
Whoa. And there you have it. What just happened? Desire to lose? I must have fallen off my rocker, as the saying goes, right?
While it might not be apparent at first glance, a lot of professional pla<x>yers actually seek out stronger opponents to test themselves against. Even if the actual question might never consciously form in their minds, it is ever-present.
“Is this how far I can go?”
“Can I do better?”
No matter how good winning feels, it can never answer these questions. Not in the way losing does. Because the minute you lose, the minute someone proves to be more skilled than you, you get your answer. And those truly competitive thirst for this. In League of Legends professional scene (yes, I am a nerd into nerdstuff, and that is legally a sport), western regions have always carried the stigma of being inferior to the giants of South Korea and China. Yet whenever interviewed, none of them are satisfied with being the dominant force in their own respective regions. Even though they lose over and over again at the hands of the seemingly unstoppable eastern juggernauts, they will always say it was an honor to play against them. In their eyes, losing is just a setback. But the knowledge they gained from losing gives them a window of opportunity that they lacked before. And they can grow once more, and do their damn best to catch up to those that defeated them.
Okay. Here’s the bombshell you probably already realized. To those truly competitive, improving is more important than winning. No matter how many times you crush your peers, you will never improve, never get any better. You will forever stay a frog in a well. Find someone who can beat you, however, and your world will become that much bigger. The possibilities, that much grander. It is because of this that you can grow once more, and soar for new heights.
Just the other day, I’ve been to one of my little brother’s basketball practice sessions. It was a special occasion, and he and his peers got to play with Kikinda’s (my home town) first team line up. Just by looking at the faces of the children, it was clear to everyone that their main goal was achieved – to inspire the next generation of basketball pla<x>yers to strive higher and dream bigger. I, of course, recorded all of it on my phone, later that night had all of our family watch it alongside our relatives that were visiting at the time (it was my birthday). While we all enjoyed watching them play and trying to decide who had a bigger smile, the kids or the pros, someone brought up Aleksa’s less than accepting nature towards losing.
You see, Aleksa and games have a history that stretches throughout his entire life. From the days he could first roll a dice or understand dominoes, he has had anger fits when he would lose. And every time he would, a term would crop up – he is very competitive. But what does it mean to be competitive? Most people identify it with the desire to win, and the desire to not lose. I mean, let’s face it, no one likes to lose, it’s a trait human beings have in common across the globe.
I have a problem with this interpretation, though. Because, if all we want to do is win and/or not lose, and we get angry about it if we don’t get our way, we often get labeled a sore loser. So what is the difference? Let’s get back to the example of my brother and his dominoes. He loved winning. He would get the biggest grin on his face when he would pull of a long streak of dominoes while watching his opponent’s domino pile grow bigger. However, should the positions be reversed and he would find himself on the losing end, he would knock down his own dominoes, throw them across the table, or kick it to break the domino pattern. He would call the game stupid, and refuse to play. And more often than not, he would begin to cry. The same happens when he plays video games. He shouts at the screen, yells how it’s not fair, accuses the A.I. of cheating, or kicks and pushes the table, and yes, you guessed it – he cries. It’s not a nice thing to say, especially when a child is concerned, but my little brother is a sore loser.
Now, the big question is, does that also make him intensely competitive, as my family members claim? It is a common misconception, and I disagree with them. Because while it is true that he is loves winning, and will compete over and over again for the rush of victory, he lacks something special that would make him truly competitive. In my own opinion, what he lacks is a very important subconscious desire. I have noticed it present in pretty much all competitive individuals, especially those that compete on a professional level. And while this might just be a subjective observation on my end, I believe that those truly competitive carry a strong desire to win, as well as an equally strong subconscious desire to lose.
Whoa. And there you have it. What just happened? Desire to lose? I must have fallen off my rocker, as the saying goes, right?
While it might not be apparent at first glance, a lot of professional pla<x>yers actually seek out stronger opponents to test themselves against. Even if the actual question might never consciously form in their minds, it is ever-present.
“Is this how far I can go?”
“Can I do better?”
No matter how good winning feels, it can never answer these questions. Not in the way losing does. Because the minute you lose, the minute someone proves to be more skilled than you, you get your answer. And those truly competitive thirst for this. In League of Legends professional scene (yes, I am a nerd into nerdstuff, and that is legally a sport), western regions have always carried the stigma of being inferior to the giants of South Korea and China. Yet whenever interviewed, none of them are satisfied with being the dominant force in their own respective regions. Even though they lose over and over again at the hands of the seemingly unstoppable eastern juggernauts, they will always say it was an honor to play against them. In their eyes, losing is just a setback. But the knowledge they gained from losing gives them a window of opportunity that they lacked before. And they can grow once more, and do their damn best to catch up to those that defeated them.
Okay. Here’s the bombshell you probably already realized. To those truly competitive, improving is more important than winning. No matter how many times you crush your peers, you will never improve, never get any better. You will forever stay a frog in a well. Find someone who can beat you, however, and your world will become that much bigger. The possibilities, that much grander. It is because of this that you can grow once more, and soar for new heights.
31-35, M