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I Have Something to Say

This is just a rant...a random thought. I remember a study in college psychology class. They took a number of men and women, (think it was 1000 each), and divided them into categories. I remember some, (slender, good looking/ over weight/good looking, over weight/ugly, and slender/ugly, balding, slender, balding/overweight)...might have been more but these are the ones that stick out in my memory. They were all taught the same sales spiel for the same product...and released on the public. The groups that did the best were the slender, good looking males and females. the group that faired the worst were balding, ugly, over weight males. Ok..."ugly" was not used to describe them, but I don't remember exactly what the word that was used to describe these groups. All I could think back then was, "wow...how absolutely devastating it would be to be lumped into one of the "less than attractive" groups! The point is, beautiful people have an advantage in life. I know now, being involved with a truly beautiful woman, that life for the truly beautiful isn't all roses either. People will look at them and automatically expect them to be stuck up, self centered, less than intelligent, egotistical, selfish. So...not one group can sail through life unscathed...but, I sure would like to know what it would be like to be considered one of the world's "pretty people". My girlfriend has always dated and had relationships with dynamic, successful handsome men...and, although I am still in good shape and fit, I do feel inadequate that I am not those things...and cannot help but wonder why she is with me. When I was young, I played a professional sport...in the military I was an officer and pilot...so, it didn't matter what I looked like, I still attracted women. but since I am older, am a has-been, I couldn't turn heads if I were covered in $100 bills and on fire. I hope she truly sees something in me that is worth her time and love. But, compared to the famous musicians and actors she has had in her life, I sure do feel inadequate. Just a rant...just some thoughts. I guess, late at night, all alone, my insecurities come out to haunt me like ghosts.
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they are heavy emails. She has trouble showing her love...she uses the words a lot...but, her actions don't match her words. I don't want the words, I want the actions. Because of my insecurities, many brought on by my ex who never showed love and turns out, she admitted she was never in love with me...she'd married me because I was a pro ball player...and I see the same behavior in this woman. Words...but no actions...and, I want the truth...I want her to act as if she truly wants me and loves me...has passion for me. You can tell someone all the time, that you love them, but if you never show that love, how can you expect them to believe your love? I asked her tonight, for the truth...I expressed my doubts, and asked her, either show your love, or we go our separate ways. I have a heavy heart tonight...worried about her answer. But I cannot go through life in another loveless relationship like that of my first marriage.
markpaul...I don't know what to tell you. When I was young, I was a body builder and had a full head of hair...pro baseball player...and never had problems attracting really hot girls. Same when I was an officer and a pilot in the military...doesn't matter what you looked like in those positions, you could still attract the ladies. But, as I got older, had to start shaving my head, I looked in the mirror and realized that it was ONLY because of my statuses that ANY girl went out with me in high school, when I played ball, when I was in the military...had I not had those statuses, no women would have given me the time of day. My ex wife admitted in counseling that she never loved me. But now, at my age, I realize there's no magic...I am NEVER going to wake up attractive and what women want. I can't do anything about that. I keep myself in good physical condition...but...let's face it, even though I am in good condition, few people want to see a guy my age naked. So, I understand. I walk around with my head down, hoping people aren't staring at me. Part of my insecurities with my lady is that I feel she could quite possibly be embarrassed by me. I don't know. But, I have to live with myself, no matter what. I am sure you aren't as unattractive as you think you are...so I have been told...LOL...and I take it, you have the same insecurities I have. Some woman will see inside you some day.
SW-User
I completely understand hopeless. You needed to do that. You deserve to be loved fully and not just words. I wish you all the best and peace.
SW-User
I'm sure there are many wonderful qualities that she sees in you. I'm glad you found this love.
SW-User
Those sound like they might be some 'heavy' emails (?) I hope all works out.
MarkPaul · 26-30, M
I can relate. I feel as though I repulse people. I don't think I am the ugliest person on the planet, but I do spend an extreme amount of time obsessing over all my flaws and concluding no one could ever possibly like me, want to be with me, or find me worthwhile. And sadly, for the most part, I am living up to that expectation...
well quiet...I wish I could say everything is peachy but it's not. We have our problems like any couple will...and, I will know, maybe by later tonight, or tomorrow, after she reads my emails I sent her tonight, if she is still in my life.
MarkPaul · 26-30, M
The thing with low self-esteem, insecurity, and a low self-image is breaking up won't change anything. In fact, it will only make things worse. I am on the other end of the spectrum with those feelings and no one (zero) in my life. It doesn't make the feelings of being deficient go away.
YoMomma ·
Silly.. She's probly into you for the fact that you're such a die hard romantic lover and that you aren't conceited.. In fact you go way the other way and are overly insecure.. Also you obviously like her very much and are very into her.. That in itself is an endearment of sorts FYI.. There's more to love than meets the eye and when they say "looks aren't everything" it's no lie.. Personality is everything and it's not a joke.. But superficiality get more attention initially because most people are shallow
YoMomma ·
Look if you're feeling insecure and slighted and you don't feel like she is being sincere and truly honest with you.. Then you should just break up with her yourself.. If you feel like something is wrong then you should go with your gut. Why bother asking her anything if you feel she is dishonest? So maybe she is the most beautiful woman you're every seen. If she makes you feel like crappyshit shit then why bother with her? Something is obviously off.. Don't wait for her to admit it because she never will. That's my opinion on that matter..

 
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