Grief Therapy

[quote]a dude on here told me I should be ashamed of myself because others are more deserving of help.[/quote]
Goodness me. Deep as a mud puddle.

I'm so sorry. How long ago was it? Sometimes pain is so deep that everything else all around you is completely trivial. I only have a little space here to type, and I almost don't want to say anything other than acknowledge that what you're going through is completely overwhelming. Because anything else i say will sound so disconnected and far away from where you are right now.

Only that you'll have these bad days, maybe many of them. But you will get through. You will feel joy again. You will have brilliant days, things you'll be so glad about. All this. And what I'm saying probably seems pointless right now. That's ok. Just know it's true, because others have been there before you. Grief counselling can help - you probably know there are stages, but they're all over place rather than sequential. What it means is that most of the advice about how to process things won't make sense until you're ready for that. No-one knows what you're going through like you do. I hope you can find someone who can just sit with you. Walk with you through it, without judgement, without trying to solve everything.