Would there be a bigger benefit to the children to?

No-brainer. Most kids would rather live without the fighting/drama.

Thesunisout, that situation is one that I really hate to talk about because I did things in that relationship that I would never dream of doing again. He would not leave because even his own mother didn't like having him around. It wasn't just a matter of well we can try to be nice and make it work. No it was constant episodes of me not being able to trust him because I would catch him trying to use a belt on my 3 year old. I'm not having that. Kids don't need to see their parents become violent over them. The guilt it brings to them still sticks with them. He only stayed because he knew no one else wanted him. So he would use the children that he would regularly tell me "I hope you lose them because you're ruining my life." But one thing, rest assured everything I did was for my girls. And that's why I'm single. I'm not about to get in the same position where I do unbelievable things to protect them. I might be crazy, but rest assured nothing about that time says I took the easy way out.

It's better to come from a broken home, than to live in one. At least that is my thoughts.

The sociology is clear. Kids do better if the parents aren't fighting or unhappy and that means two households.

Two happy households. My kids can tell you what it's like to grow up in that type of home. It isn't good,

I grew up in a home where parents stayed together until we were in college then divorced. They didn't fight outwardly so much, but my dad was not faithful and was caught a couple times when we were teenagers. Our lives were less affected than some in that situation.

My wife and I have had our problems while our kids were growing up. We've been in counseling nearly a year and a half now and are in a much better place and our sons are now both teenagers. Hopefully we've turned the corner toward solving our issues for good and have saved our marriage.

To me that's the key. We've both had to change, because we were both at fault. Our kids saw us stick it out, make changes for each other that hopefully keep us together and happy. We've talked with them about the mistakes we've made. I am hoping those lessons and the memory of how much better things are as a result of us working it out makes it the right choice for us ... and for them.

Only if you can be civil towards each other...that's where my marriage is at, and we are obtaining peace within the household for our youngest sake.

If that cannot be achieved then separating is the better option, making sure to keep the child/children's routine, love and security as normal as possible.

It depends on the circumstances. If there is violence and/or abuse involved, JUST GET OUT. But I think too many people treat marriage as one more disposable thing. If it doesnt work, oh well, we'll just get divorced. No one wants to put in the work and the commitment. Marriage is not and has never been easy. But some things are worth the effort.

So what are you saying to your children just quit easy and on to the next if that works if not next one.


i had no problem with your viewpoint until you opened your mouth and said this..

Children can sense when things aren't right between the parents . If you can't make it work being married then what is the point in staying married and having your children seeing two miserable people be together ....I am a believer of trying very hard to keep my marriage together but not just at any cost ....there are exceptions ,of course . Both of you have to be fully committed to making it work or it will fall apart . I do think that some people don't try hard enough and just give up too easily . I'm not sure what my point was ..... I didn't have one 😐

Muj Kids are constantly left feeling like they have to pick a side, and in the case of my kids, hated because I was their mother. Everything that went wrong in his life was taken out on them. I wasn't having that. Made for a very violent environment.

"Please don't judge" -the sunisout -I must say this made me laugh considering your tone dead attack on other people's choices all because you got a bad step parent as a child. News flash : this isn't all about you. Children can also have positive experiences with step parents or survive quite happily when the parents don't repartner. You can't make your wife do anything. If you supported her to get a job and cut down on her drinking -then great. But you didn't do that -she did. Unfortunately you're still not happy and have to convince yourself that it is "strong" and "right" to stay. Great. Whatever works. The problem is when you project from this that the choices of other people -who you don't know -are weak and wrong....because they differ from the choices you've made

An embattled home with kids watching constant fighting is NOT "keeping the home together". It's the equivalent of abuse.

@thesunisout if you don't have the strength or courage to leave don't take it out on people that do by pretending yours is the moral choice. It is merely a choice.

It's not good for kids to see parents fighting. Better to see happy parents even if they are single.

I've been in that situation. Everyone has to find their own answer to that one.

I'm sorry Lisette, I thought you were talking about the last few. I just choose to stop responding to people like thesunisout.

* nibbles on a carrot and poops a little *'

Two happy households. I remember as a kid hearing my parents constantly fight before they eventually broke up. Would have been so much better if they went their separate ways peacefully and raised my sisters and I together in two happy households.

@Call me I hate to see you trying to justify yourself to someone who is really just attacking your choices because they don't like their own

@Callme - read back some. He specifically said "@lisette, u are wrong, stop talking." Pretty sure Im the only lisette on here.

That's a great question and a complicated one unfortunately.

Listen to the older ladies' comments. Ignore comments of the younger ones. I myself know that it's better to leave toxic environment because of your children. They didn't deserve that.

Your happiness is very important for your children, just settle down with you partner peacefully and live your life

@tenente..,I think it can be very helpful

I feel it's better to have two happy households.

Don't you even. You have no fucking idea what hell I lived in for 13 years because the bastard threatened to kidnap them. That's not cutting and running. You have no idea what I went through. And kids shouldn't be put in a place like that.

2 happy households for sure!

Each to their own thats what i say its your life

@ten...only if both parties are willing and still "love/like" each other...otherwise I feel it would be all in vain.

Lisette tenente wasn't talking to you. He's only talking to one other person.

@thesunisout Narcissism, emotionally abusive, passive aggressive, invalidating, mentally ill

But I have my nice days ;-)

I gather people do whats best for their kids.
Hell I stay for the dogs!!!

I say stay and work things out ,show your children how to dig deep in life,i ended up with a bas d of a step dad so it can go the other way too

I know my grammer is not the best i have a condition called dyslexia,so sorry for that

I was not pointing it at you but all, sorry if i offended you in anyway

No i just have been on the reciving end of my adopted parents divorcing and me and my sister suffering under a not so nice step farther so there is a flip side to it all

And i have stayed here because i know my wife went though the same ordeal as me,i have cut her drinking down got her into a job and turned the ship around from realy falling apart we have 3 kids

I have nothing against you call we are all entitled to a point of view or not

So what are you saying to your children just quit easy and on to the next if that works if not next one😊

I was here first ten😊 you can stay if you would like too

How do you know what i have to go though please dont judge me😊

The lady below has suffered and has decided to leave, thats her choice

Anyway thank you ten i enjoyed the banter😊

Coming on here helps talking to people

Ten it seamsyou have suffered too but mybe u just got stuck in the angry stage and did not move on

I was just debating

Please dont judge

So whats your story faery