What is yalls take on this? Did dating apps ruin dating… or emotional regulation? Or has society and internet culture changed our experiences? Am I
tripping? Curious on your take, please let me know.
31-35
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AuRevoir · 36-40, M
This has already been proven at length with both scientific study. As well as psychological study.
Social media and dating apps both contributed to the change that ended up occurring.
90% of the women, end up dating the top 10% of men across all dating apps…
Because those 10% of men have an endless supply of sex partners, they feel no need or pressure to settle down… Thus they continue to date the 90% of women available on the dating apps…
Those 90% of women, for some reason, all believe that they’re worthy or somehow more special than all the other women. And that when they somehow finally get to date one of these top 10% males… That it will last forever, that he is not seeing 3-5 other females on the side or flirting or cheating with him. And that his 6 figure income is somehow going to be directly hers…
Meanwhile 90% of men have the remaining 10% of women to pick from… So even the 10% of women end up having unlimited options and feeling overly special that they too eventually end up believing they can Join the 90% of women who believe they are going to end up with a top 10% man..
This is all under the looped effect that has been thoroughly documented where women tend to overvalue themselves. Oftentimes without being able to state what they are able to contribute or offer in a relationship outside of sex…
Thus society has an endless cycle of top 10% male earners having pretty much ran through all the vast majority of women who use dating apps… And most women not realizing they made a mistake until they hit a proverbial “wall” sometime between the ages of 40-45… While some more self aware women realizing they haven’t hit a wall yet, but it’s quickly approaching at around the age of 35…
The wall is a metaphoric anecdote for being able to have a child with your do or die lover.. Since it becomes much more difficult for a woman the older she ages, their desirability becomes less towards future prospects of finding love since most men have an inherent desire to sire children and leave behind a legacy by raising said children.
Not everyone can be a millionaire. And everyone seeing YouTubers and tik tokers and Instagram people, oftentimes faking lavish lifestyles by getting themselves into debt in hopes of becoming popular enough to generate money from social media had contributed to unrealistic expectations in the dating scene.
On the other hand social media has exposed women for being cruel and having insane expectations which has lead to many men also increasing their expectations and deciding to abandon dating altogether if those expectations are not met. Many of those expectations coincidentally leaning towards the exact opposite qualities women have been priding themselves on. They have multiple sexual experiences which men are no longer considering to be wife material. They no longer know how to cook or be submissive in any capacity which men are chalking up to being red flags.
A major solution to this being the passport bro trend where men are finding that women from foreign countries have more traditional mindsets and are able to meet the needs and desires they have for qualities they’d like in a wife. This however leaves a disparaging gap of “leftover” females. Which foolishly have decided to use their best defense of mocking men who seek women out this way. It didn’t work for Hollywood. Nor did it work for game development studios. But somehow, rather than realizing this as a poor move to make. Women have doubled down rather than taking any accountability on their part. And men just like women, are continuing to increase their standards.
So yes, everything has changed in the dating scene and has been efficiently documented.
But it doesn’t mean that dating is no longer occurring. It’s just no longer occurring on what used to be considered the normal way 15 years ago.
Social media and dating apps both contributed to the change that ended up occurring.
90% of the women, end up dating the top 10% of men across all dating apps…
Because those 10% of men have an endless supply of sex partners, they feel no need or pressure to settle down… Thus they continue to date the 90% of women available on the dating apps…
Those 90% of women, for some reason, all believe that they’re worthy or somehow more special than all the other women. And that when they somehow finally get to date one of these top 10% males… That it will last forever, that he is not seeing 3-5 other females on the side or flirting or cheating with him. And that his 6 figure income is somehow going to be directly hers…
Meanwhile 90% of men have the remaining 10% of women to pick from… So even the 10% of women end up having unlimited options and feeling overly special that they too eventually end up believing they can Join the 90% of women who believe they are going to end up with a top 10% man..
This is all under the looped effect that has been thoroughly documented where women tend to overvalue themselves. Oftentimes without being able to state what they are able to contribute or offer in a relationship outside of sex…
Thus society has an endless cycle of top 10% male earners having pretty much ran through all the vast majority of women who use dating apps… And most women not realizing they made a mistake until they hit a proverbial “wall” sometime between the ages of 40-45… While some more self aware women realizing they haven’t hit a wall yet, but it’s quickly approaching at around the age of 35…
The wall is a metaphoric anecdote for being able to have a child with your do or die lover.. Since it becomes much more difficult for a woman the older she ages, their desirability becomes less towards future prospects of finding love since most men have an inherent desire to sire children and leave behind a legacy by raising said children.
Not everyone can be a millionaire. And everyone seeing YouTubers and tik tokers and Instagram people, oftentimes faking lavish lifestyles by getting themselves into debt in hopes of becoming popular enough to generate money from social media had contributed to unrealistic expectations in the dating scene.
On the other hand social media has exposed women for being cruel and having insane expectations which has lead to many men also increasing their expectations and deciding to abandon dating altogether if those expectations are not met. Many of those expectations coincidentally leaning towards the exact opposite qualities women have been priding themselves on. They have multiple sexual experiences which men are no longer considering to be wife material. They no longer know how to cook or be submissive in any capacity which men are chalking up to being red flags.
A major solution to this being the passport bro trend where men are finding that women from foreign countries have more traditional mindsets and are able to meet the needs and desires they have for qualities they’d like in a wife. This however leaves a disparaging gap of “leftover” females. Which foolishly have decided to use their best defense of mocking men who seek women out this way. It didn’t work for Hollywood. Nor did it work for game development studios. But somehow, rather than realizing this as a poor move to make. Women have doubled down rather than taking any accountability on their part. And men just like women, are continuing to increase their standards.
So yes, everything has changed in the dating scene and has been efficiently documented.
But it doesn’t mean that dating is no longer occurring. It’s just no longer occurring on what used to be considered the normal way 15 years ago.
Magicianzini · M
@AuRevoir And 15 years ago it was no longer occurring on what used to be considered the normal way 15 years before that.
The way people meet is a constantly changing cycle and those who cannot adjust to whatever is the current way to meet others get left behind.
The way people meet is a constantly changing cycle and those who cannot adjust to whatever is the current way to meet others get left behind.
AuRevoir · 36-40, M
@OogieBoogie All the standards and expectations on both sides of the aisle aren’t meshing well together…
It’s probably going to be the most chaotic it’s ever been in a long time.
Wedding are becoming less frequent, and being married is going to look like a status symbol if things stay par for the current course.
Divorce rates are increasing, but in return marriage rates are not likewise matching their counterpart.
It’s interesting on a global scale of first world developed countries how this all creates new algorithms etc…
But it’s also kind of dark in a way, and helps to showcase why romance novels and romance reality TV is on the rise… Because true romance is being more encapsulated as a fantasy, rather than something that can be realistically obtained.
It’s probably going to be the most chaotic it’s ever been in a long time.
Wedding are becoming less frequent, and being married is going to look like a status symbol if things stay par for the current course.
Divorce rates are increasing, but in return marriage rates are not likewise matching their counterpart.
It’s interesting on a global scale of first world developed countries how this all creates new algorithms etc…
But it’s also kind of dark in a way, and helps to showcase why romance novels and romance reality TV is on the rise… Because true romance is being more encapsulated as a fantasy, rather than something that can be realistically obtained.
OogieBoogie · F
@AuRevoir if socialisation and communcation skills keep dropping as much as they seems to be, (in general), combined with these unrealistic ideals of self ...and expectation, then romance will become all but a fantasy for most.
Its incredible to see how the mainstream world has devolved emotionally.
I never would have ever considered that we would lose so much of ourselves😞
Its incredible to see how the mainstream world has devolved emotionally.
I never would have ever considered that we would lose so much of ourselves😞
AuRevoir · 36-40, M
@OogieBoogie I mean I think some people misunderstood big differences between people who work strenuously hard and achieve real amazing goals in life… And the “manifestation” trend that they can just acquire some millionaire to date who’s doing all the hard work in their life and benefit from that..
Same with the male version where they’re increasing their standards… But aren’t working towards eventually buying a home or preparing a life to even share with a woman if they do find one eventually…
Everyone’s afraid of one another which is reasonable as they’ve all been burned before etc..
But at the same time as you said.. Real life is going to eventually just be replaced by escapisms and what corporations can sell you to cope with such things…
Granted, i understand if it’s ironically the better alternative… Both males and females are opting out unless they meet an “ideal” partner.. neither of which are really bettering themselves that they’d be worthy of said ideal partner.. and both sides are afraid of being “used” and having less than if they just held out a little longer..
It honestly shares a lot of similarities with gambling addiction…
Same with the male version where they’re increasing their standards… But aren’t working towards eventually buying a home or preparing a life to even share with a woman if they do find one eventually…
Everyone’s afraid of one another which is reasonable as they’ve all been burned before etc..
But at the same time as you said.. Real life is going to eventually just be replaced by escapisms and what corporations can sell you to cope with such things…
Granted, i understand if it’s ironically the better alternative… Both males and females are opting out unless they meet an “ideal” partner.. neither of which are really bettering themselves that they’d be worthy of said ideal partner.. and both sides are afraid of being “used” and having less than if they just held out a little longer..
It honestly shares a lot of similarities with gambling addiction…
OogieBoogie · F
@AuRevoir Geez ...you know, youre not wrong there !
It goes hand in hand with this 'persuit of eternal happiness' so many seem to think is achievable 🙄
Life is work. Love is work. Relationships are work.
Work on dealing with perpetual change in all of them.
You're right. All i see is jaded men working their asses off for assets they realize they don't have to share, and princesses pimping their pretend personas out to the highest bidder.
Where....in all that mess is the gentleness for love to grow?
God its fractured
It goes hand in hand with this 'persuit of eternal happiness' so many seem to think is achievable 🙄
Life is work. Love is work. Relationships are work.
Work on dealing with perpetual change in all of them.
You're right. All i see is jaded men working their asses off for assets they realize they don't have to share, and princesses pimping their pretend personas out to the highest bidder.
Where....in all that mess is the gentleness for love to grow?
God its fractured
AuRevoir · 36-40, M
@OogieBoogie Indeed. Some I’m sure will still have happy stories. Ones that you could see in some kind of “chicken soup for the soul” edition thing…
But the vast majority are kind of set to just figure out a more solitary life for themselves I suppose.
Trust is a lacking commodity. And the repercussions will be something likely to only be understood in hindsight after they occur and take their due course.
But the vast majority are kind of set to just figure out a more solitary life for themselves I suppose.
Trust is a lacking commodity. And the repercussions will be something likely to only be understood in hindsight after they occur and take their due course.