On his birthday..

In my family (including wider family) we ignore other people's birthdays, but on our own birthday we buy gifts for others.

This has two advantages:

1. you need remember only one birthday
2. all year people are giving you unexpected gifts.

Sounds like an internal struggle. You can respect his wishes but if he's going to complain about what he asked for, oh well buddy. I understand not wanting attention but then feeling sad nobody remembered. It's not something others can help though.

I don't ask for anything on my birthday because I don't need anything. Cards are a waste of money. I do appreciate a happy birthday though. I also like a nice meal.

some people just hate birthdays, they hate getting older or just reminds them they aren't where they wanted to be in life.

Could be something happened in his youth to make him not want anything on his birthday. Narcissists in the family, especially a parent, can ruin any holiday or birthday. It brings back memories each year.

I'd ask him and respect his wishes.
Maybe you could make him a nice dinner?

I know for some people they don’t like the attention that birthdays bring

who knows........ some folks like being a martyr. maybe have a talk with him about why he feels that way. respect his wishes, but, if he ever pulled some horseshit saying no one remembers my birthday, just remind him of his own words. cant have it both ways.

Does he usually have this attitude towards his birthday or just recently

If this is new behavior, is he suddenly feeling depressed about "getting old"?

Birthdays are a celebration of life, either a thief of joy or Jehovah's witness. 🤔

Maybe he wants an excuse to not have to reciprocate 😃

You mean if you stripped naked and wrote Happy Birthday right across your boobs and butt, he would ignore you??? Wow. THAT's cold!!!! 🤣🤣🤣

Not happy about his age?

Is he planning to sleep through it???

He wants that pumpum