What age did you realize your narcissistic parent/s were hypocrites, and when did you start rebelling because of that?

@SW-User I'm so sorry ❤️ I know you've probably become a very strong soul because of that though.

Reminds me of my story, but I stayed silent and hidden. Then I started speaking up at 12. My mom wasn't mature enough to parent me, IDK if she's a narcissist. She has issues but she's special to me.

My dad is def a narc lol we've had many years of not talking much. He's dropped a lot of those traits these last 5 years though.

@S33K3R I managed to maintain an association with mine up until the end. In fact, was caregiver to both before they died. Our relationship was distant though...

These people do lose some of the Narcissist traits as they age... something to do with normal old age memory loss, plus dementia. At 85 to 90, Mum was still all about herself and only herself, but she'd mellowed out to the point where she wasn't a minefield of rage anymore.

@SW-User that's how my grandma was. She basically cut off the whole family and disappeared. I talked to her 6 months before she passed at 37, the time before that was when I was 12... Sometimes I wonder if that was her soul karma to speak to me before she left.

She was the seed of the narcissism in my family.

@S33K3R As a kid, I adored my grandmother, but she did have this other side that slipped out every once in a while... otherwise, she was known as one of the nicest people you'd ever meet, so I swept my memories of that dark side out of my mind. My aunt and I had a conversation this year about the root of the narcissism in our family. You could see it clearly in the other aunt and my uncle, but as my remaining aunt said, she didn't think her parents (my grandparents) were ever that way. It's a mystery to us.

@SW-User some people just have that desire to control. My sister's got the narc traits and we have strict boundaries to not cause issues. I don't tell her personal things, I don't rely on her, I ignore all her peacock posing lol

Our relationship is good.

She doesn't know why she is the way she is, it's like a cat trying to figure out why it can't help but chase the string moving in front of it.

It's deeply embedded in her psyche. She's learned how to not be toxic with it, but their ego still decides if and when they turn.

@S33K3R There are different levels of narcissism, for sure. It sounds as if your sister scores lower on that scale than my family... If she's aware and can control her actions and reactions to some extent, that's different from what I'm used to seeing. It's great that the 2 of you can get along!

@SW-User oh no she has it bad... She can't really make friends she hates her boyfriend. She has lots of money so she is convinced she's happy.

She had done a lot to me and when she tried suing me I was just fed up. We didn't talk for 5 years and when she tried to get back into my life we talked about the past, she couldn't own her contribution. I left it at that and drew healthy boundaries.

We were trauma bonded as kids so it's good that we have the best friendship that's possible. I would prefer to never be around her again though. My siblings didn't understand for a long time, but my brother mentioned they're starting to see how I had those issues with her. Everyone took her side always. I was the black sheep. Hard life creates a strong soul though. 💗

@S33K3R Oh wow. I guess I misunderstood when you said your sister had learned how to not be toxic. I've never met a narcissist who could control the abusive patterns. Anyhow, it's great that you know how to protect yourself. You don't need additional trauma from your sister, after dealing with your parents.