I have been married for five years now, and sometimes I ask myself why? My husband and I are going through so much trying to stay married, but we’re

both struggling to try to understand each other. I know I love him and I want our marriage to work, but we need to overcome the fighting, arguments, and not trusting each other. A week ago he said that he needed to get away by himself, so he can do some thinking. He packed his bag and left without telling me where he was going, I was upset because I thought he was going to meet someone else, he finally texts me and said he was in Las Vegas NV, but he still refuses to give me the address where he was at. We spoke throughout the time he was there and I still had that feeling that someone was there with him. I finally accepted that he needed his time away from me, but still had that negative feeling about the whole situation. Why would a husband want time away from his wife? Was I wrong to feel that something was going on?

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Dv8rs · 18-21, F

You answered your own question, Why would a husband want time away from his wife? Here are 3 reasons, fighting, arguments, and not trusting each other.
Generally, the one who is accusing the other, does so out of guilt.

PatKirby · M

@Dv8rs
Let's not forget nagging and overall insecure behavior. Probably drove him nuts, so he drove away.

Dv8rs · 18-21, F

@PatKirby Could be.

OogieBoogie · F

@PatKirby @Dv8rs i dunno.
Its very rare that relationship issues are totally one persons fault.

And even if what you say is true, the husband has shown that he uses denial and absence to deal with issues.
Sounds like they might be in a fight/silent treatment cycle.

They need to learn to understand each others pressures and struggles, and realise compromises and solutions need to be made by both parties.

They BOTH need help.

PatKirby · M

@OogieBoogie

I dunno either, I wasn't there. But considering all the open man-hating misandry pushed by society in television shows, commercials, radio, magazines, all over the internet, in academia (try working in a college as I witnessed), the workforce, in the unjust family court/divorce system, etc... since the 90s basically all over the cultural zeitgeist no one in charge or of any real consequence stops nor shows an effort to halt. In spite of this although yes nothing ever happens in a vacuum of course it was a two-way street - the greater likelihood is, and the implication is clearly there that, since he's a male he's already guilty and it will be seen as his fault. So we can dispense with the verbal platitudes and move on with what real life teaches us.

OogieBoogie · F

@PatKirby the only reason this post is directed at a guy is that its typical of people venting to throw blame outside if ones self ....and the self in this is a wife.

Im not sure throwing social issues into the mix is pertinent as its a personal relationship problem....between two people.

I get there is unfairness in the world.
But dont let it taint your views of a particular gender as a whole.

I had very loved man turn violent on me, and deliver a fair amount of emotional and mental abuse over quite a few years. His lies were supported by police and the system.

I could spew my misery and hate about this to the world. Let it colour the way i look at every man .

But i dont ....because everyone is their own person ....and deserves a chance. 🤷‍♀️