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Thoughts on keepsakes. Are they really worth saving for generations?

I’m troubled.

On one hand I want to throw it all in the trash.

On the other, I feel like I’m throwing my mom’s life away…

Magenta · F
Aw I so relate to this.
I've become quite fond of NOT looking at old pictures. They collect dust. It's just sad reminders of what is not and never will be again. They don't really serve a purpose to me. I've actually thrown quite a few away.

Go with your heart. And maybe save just a few for his sake.
CopperFox420 · 36-40, F
@Magenta Yes! That’s what is killing me. I can’t relive all this rn it’s breaking me down. Especially since so many things within my family turned out to be lies and filth. Yet my mom loved them. When I see those happy memories it just doesn’t feel real. It’s so confusing…

If I just chunked them, it would literally be over.

I just want it to be over so bad.
Magenta · F
@CopperFox420 As time passes, it may soften in you and you may feel differently. So maybe don't chunk every single one. Maybe tuck them away and don't visit them for now. 🌺💜
@Magenta Same here, I been taking pictures of all the old photos and storing them on flash drives 😊
turbineman40 · 80-89, M
I am at the same cross roads in life since my wife has passed. Her sisters don't want her clothes even. So my recourse is throwing it all away or giving it all to the Goodwill store. It seems the store is going to get a lot of stuff. Your choice?
I'm very choosy about what I keep. If it has strong and positive memories, will keep as long as I have a place for it. I might have one storage bin and that's it. One of those things I'll pull out every now and then. If it isn't of personal or monetary value, I'll take a photo of it and dispose. If it's worth $$ I'll photo and sell.
Fungirlmmm · 51-55
Can you keep the most important amd then make pictures of the things you are tossing and make a digital remembrance file or possibly cut some of it up amd use it in your new art creativity?
CopperFox420 · 36-40, F
@Fungirlmmm beautiful idea, thank you.
Fungirlmmm · 51-55
@CopperFox420 you're welcome.
Sutten · 36-40, F
I am a sentimental person, but I usually base these decisions on what role the person played in my life and how much they meant to me. If you don't have the space to keep it all, keep the ones that hold special memories.
I’ve lived with my mom who kept little stuff in our house and it’s horrible. I hate seeing pics of me on the walls. It’s so weird.
Now that I’m an adult, I try to keep our home clean and clutter free. I hate seeing many stuff on the kitchen counter. I don’t like weird diy handicrafts (sorry) I only have 4-5 pics displayed I guess in our house.

My son tends to have some drawings, paintings etc from school but I always throw most of them after a month. 😅
@CopperFox420 moms can be a hoarder indeed. (Wait, I’m a mom too!)
I always feel good when I see less things on tables , walls etc.
CopperFox420 · 36-40, F
@BloviatingBuffoon 😆 Well yes , but if it all burnt down, would you be devastated? I know I wouldn’t 😆
@CopperFox420 I would feel bad if everything burns at the same time. But as I grow up, I just don’t have this attachment to things. However, pics of my son is another story . 😓
Starcrossed · 41-45, F
Have you been going through any of this stuff with your son?
Has he expressed a desire to keep any of it?
What kind of person is he shaping up to be... is he one to be sentimental with his older toys even if he doesn't play with them or is he pretty chill about shedding things he's grown out of.


I'm realizing in my own life my kid is of the latter type and even though she's only 11, I can already gage she doesn't really want much of the sentimental stuff I've held on to. Knowing this had helped me cull a tiny bit but I know it needs to be a lot more.
cherokeepatti · 61-69, F
@Starcrossed I inherited a box of photos that came from my grandfather after he died. It was given to my aunt and then to me when she died. I am glad to have them. Some of those old photos are the tin type ones. And a few look like they may have been taken in the late 1800’s-early 1900’s. Back then photos were expensive and not many taken so the people in the photo were likely to have been relatives of my grandfather. It would have been nice if more things were kept to be passed on to future generations and a little story included with each item who owned it and what they were used for etc. Some things like that would be priceless to me now.
Thomas52 · 70-79, M
This is a dilemma for many of at a certain time in our lives. The desire to keep something of our loved ones for remembrance is normal and I have one thing each from aunts and uncles for a reminder of their lives and love. It's my parents' things which, like you, are the issue. All the 'things' (clothes, ornaments, kitchen utensils etc) have been distributed or given to charity (or the recycling centre). Now I am left with documentation (passports, newspaper cuttings, diplomas, letters and poems, birth certificates etc) which reveal things we did not fully know in their lives as well as many photographs some of which are repetitive and some of which we have no idea were they were taken, but it is a record of their lives and the family history.

Who cares? Probably only close family just now, but one day curious grandsons and granddaughters may become curious and be disappointed if it was all thrown away.
turbineman40 · 80-89, M
@Thomas52 all interesting points for consideration. Now who or where are you going to keep all these papers, pictures? Who knows what they are looking at in the pictures unless a detailed written explanation on the back of the picture. It gets hard to throw away fond memories that you have, but who else wants to carry on the luggage of stuff
Thomas52 · 70-79, M
@turbineman40 I know - I have reduced it to one box now and digitised some of the photos, but you're right about the explanations, some of which have already disappeared with the departed.
turbineman40 · 80-89, M
@Thomas52 I have many pictures that I know a few people but not all. The saying is " When in doubt throw it out". I don't practice what I preach. Ha
Jlhzfromep · M
Put it all in a box. One day, may be many years from now, you will be happy you kept it
Iwillwait · M
Follow your gut
CopperFox420 · 36-40, F
@Iwillwait I’m ripped in two. My gut says, it’s just stuff, literal stuff that will mean nothing to my son because he never really knew her. But my heart says, was her life even real if I can throw away what represented it…
Iwillwait · M
@CopperFox420 keep the photos.
CopperFox420 · 36-40, F
@Iwillwait I’m trying to pick out one small box worth. I’ve already tossed albums because she took A LOT of pictures.
Barny52 · 56-60, M
Save as much as you can, you will enjoy looking through in 20yrs time
Teslin · M
I really wish I had more pictures/videos of my children as they were growing up. I was always on the field or court coaching them, so not many pictures. WONDERFUL memories, but not as many pictures as I would like.
Your heart can decide which are the important ones to save and cherish. Passing some of them down to your son.
When I move I lose all sense of sentimentality.

Ive gotten rid of 100 year old cookbooks of my great grandmothers, paintings my father has painted me, my holly hobby oven ( or science experiment encourager, you didn’t ahve to only cook food in those!), baby shoes, I finally let myself get rid of my kids artwork from grade school ( all teh paper was getting soggy in the box)

I used to get so. Upset that y dad would throw out our lives when he would go on one of his cleaning rampages through the house where he threw everything away. He set fire to our family photos.

I think you can feed the need for sentimental items. Or you can do away with them and it’s fine. Occasionally im sad about things, like the pictures. But its just stuff.
You could keep a photographic record, people lives go down the tip, which in some sense is sad, maybe hang on for a while, You may feel different in a few months, all the best.
QCDog2659 · 61-69, M
Yes. It is difficult emotionally, but your life should be a blend of old and new

Your Mom's possessions are a gift, but must be used as best for you.

Keep what you wish, and that you value.
Is scanning the pics to convert them to digital copies an option ?
CopperFox420 · 36-40, F
@NotSureAboutMyUserName I don’t have access nor the time to do all that unfortunately
Pfuzylogic · M
@CopperFox420
There are companies that do that and save it on the cloud. I see their tv commercials but it does cost money.
@Pfuzylogic Yeah, you can also do it at home but it takes a lot of time and effort depending on the number of pictures.
GJOFJ3 · 61-69, M
Save some that evoke special memories, throw the rest away. Life is all about editing
Some are. Some aren't. Someone's family heirloom is another person's piece of junk.
DunningKruger · 56-60, M
Are you ever going to do anything with it, like set up a tribute site to your mom, or write a biography of her, or just pull them out so you can share memories of his grandmother with your son?

If you don't have any interest in doing stuff like that, toss it out. Your memories of her will live with you for the rest of your life.
chris62ca · 56-60, M
I save such things.
CopperFox420 · 36-40, F
@chris62ca There’s so much. She was a bit of a hoarder
pdockal · 56-60, M
You can whittle it down to keepsakes that have more meaning to others especially if you don't have the space
Pics and documents can be scanned and put onto thumb drive
All depends on your relationship with the person and how close you were
smiler2012 · 56-60, M
{@copperfox420] can understand where you are coming from pictures are nice memories and can be but in albums for future
cherokeepatti · 61-69, F
You will probably regret throwing those away as you get older.
CopperFox420 · 36-40, F
@cherokeepatti I don’t have room for it
Nebula · 41-45, F
I think you should keep some, maybe let you son pick out some things.
Icedsky · 46-50, M
I'd only keep what had a special meaning to me, the rest I'd give to charity. We cannot just keep every single item
Stereoguy · 56-60, M
There is definitely a few things of my dad's that I couldn't get rid of. I fully understand.
iamonfire696 · 36-40, F
For the pictures you could scan them in and make a digital scrapbook to be printed. I think there are even phone apps where you can scan the photos.

For her pieces of art I would select the most important pieces you like to keep.

You can’t keep it all, that’s not realistic since I know you want to move and you travel lightly.

I know you feel like you are throwing her kid away but you can’t get burdened with all of the stuff either.
candycane · 31-35, F
I have no keepsakes
wildbill83 · 36-40, M
@candycane no antique candy canes? 🤔
CopperFox420 · 36-40, F
@candycane I kinda feel like that’s how it should be. Just let go of shit. I’ve been throwing out and donating a lot of her things, but it just hurts. It hurts to let her go.

 
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