Anxious
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Missing person???

Okay yall. This is gonna be a long one but bear with me. Any thoughts, opinions, suggestions, advice and help would be appreciated……

so let’s go back to Tuesday night November 22. The last day I spoke to my boyfriend.

We were having a casual conversation about work opportunities and I told him I may not take it. He replies with “why??” So I replied back explaining….. after that I never heard from him again…...

Initially I thought he passed out early on me and I got frustrated since it was kind of an important convo for me. But the morning came.

No text.

We work at the same job…so I thought he called out of work and was sleeping in…..but noon came and I know he doesn’t sleep in that late….

.I also remembered that he had a VERY important interview for a position he’s been FIGHTING tooth and nail to get…..he was so incredibly happy when they called him for the interview that he almost cried…..he didn’t want to miss that And I KNOW he wouldn’t have missed that opportunity…..he prepared so much for that…..

But he didn’t show up….


So It’s been 2, almost 3 weeks. He hasn’t shown up to work for that duration of time. Still isn’t. Which is not like him.

I’m starting to have MULTIPLE coworkers ask me where he is but I’m just as clueless as them.

My text messages aren’t delivering.
When I call- it goes immediately to voicemail.

Our other coworkers are having the same issue getting a hold of him…..

The phone is shut off.

His supervisor said that his father reached out but didn’t give enough information.

My friend and I took him a care package and dad said he was out. He questioned how we knew him, what the package was for, etc. (but mind you- I haven’t met his parents before) and that He’ll give the package to him when he returns.

The next day my roommate and I stopped by and she spoke in Spanish with his dad and told him that I was really worried about him and what’s happening. This isn’t like him. They said “he went on a little vacation out of the country but should be back soon.” And the mom took my name and number down saying they’ll let him know I’m trying to get a hold of him.

I haven’t heard anything…..I don’t think the parents are telling the truth. If he had anyway of contacting anyone- wouldn’t he reach out to let us know he’s okay and not DEAD??? He would not do this it ISN’T like him.

I called hospitals, did an inmate search to see if he’s been arrested but nothing.

Nothing……

He just disappeared mid conversation.

No explanation. Not showing up at work. Parents are being weird about it and to be honest- I think they’re lying about some things. Phone is off.

What could possibly be happening??? And why are they being so hush hush about everything??? And why is it just him that’s gone? No one else in his household??

I have so many questions. I’m so confused and worried about him and it gives me anxiety. Am I ever gonna even see him again?? Who just disappears like that with no word or warning??? and ESPECIALLY not say anything to your girl???
To where absolutely NO ONE can get ahold of them??? This isn’t like him and I fear something may have happened. None of it makes sense to me at all. I have so many mixed emotions about everything now. I don’t even know whether or not I’m gonna see him again??????
Just some FYI:

If he is hospitalized, they won't share any info with you. It is a violation of HIPPAA laws and the institution will not even mention his name.

For further clarification on these laws see: https://www.cdc.gov/phlp/publications/topic/hipaa.html

Unless he is getting disability (Medicare/Medicaid), insurance companies 'usually' don't like to pay for mental health care past 10 days. OTOH...if you are a "private payer" they will keep you as an in-patient as long as you feel you are 'a threat to yourself or others'.

Rehab: still follows HIPPAA rules, and they keep their patients for much longer periods of time.

If his parents are immigrants
IE
and she spoke in Spanish with his dad
, then one can expect them to keep it very quiet as some cultures have been known to attach stigma to certain life occurrences and illnesses (such as it is)....
Sb356 · 26-30, F
@SomeMichGuy maybe it varies by state, country etc
@Sb356 The Federal guidelines for minimum standards are part of this...
JaggedLittlePill · 46-50, F
@Threepio

The notion that he could be missing and the family could be undocumented immigrants is absolutely on the right path..but for different reasons... They won't report the missing person for fear of being deported or worse sent to prison....then they would never find their loved one.

Filing a missing persons report might trigger this. First find out if his family are immigrants/undocumented then find an immigrantion organization who might be able to assist.
Theyitis · 36-40, M
My first reaction, just from having watched the ID crime channel, is to suggest filing a missing person’s report. But like I said, that’s just based on what I’ve seen on tv fwiw.
NeuroticByNature · 41-45, F
Without any type of evidence I would almost think he had a mental health crisis. If he was locked up in observation he wouldnt have access probably to his phone or be aloud outside access. You could always call the police and ask for a welfare check on him and tell them what you told us here.
Sb356 · 26-30, F
@NeuroticByNature honestly I have considered this as well. He’s had a VERY interesting and stressful year…..I know he’s been depressed…..but he’s the type to brush it off and not wanna talk about it. He downplays everything and doesn’t let me in so I never know what’s going on…..it just happened so randomly overnight it’s just confusing.
Sb356 · 26-30, F
@NeuroticByNature I’ve considered this too but do you know what the max time is that they would keep a person in observation like that??? It’s been almost a month now….next week will be a month since he disappeared. I thought maybe he had some kind of episode and got 5150’d or something but I read they only keep you for 72 hours. At least in California i think…I also called our closest psychiatric hospital for what it was worth but they’re completely unable to give that Information. Kaiser was actually able to take his last name and let me know if he had been there. But he had not.
NeuroticByNature · 41-45, F
@Sb356 theres any number of reasons he would require an extended stay. Im in a medical care career though so I dont know.
DaddyP · 61-69, M
You said you did an “inmate search”. If that wasn’t exhaustive you may want to revisit your approach. There are city, county, state and federal prisons all with separate inmate listings. Also, if you checked only locally, you wouldn’t see an arrest or confinement in a non local facility.
Sb356 · 26-30, F
@DaddyP yeah I only did an inmate search for the county here where he live
StevetheSleeve · 31-35, M
That is very disturbing. Not really a ghosting, it seems.
Sb356 · 26-30, F
@StevetheSleeve it is disturbing….it’s not like him to pull any of this just because he doesn’t wanna talk…..so I’m definitely very worried about him. I’ve been trying to look everywhere. Made some calls. His parents aren’t saying where he is but they know.
Any update? This *is* very strange.
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Sb356 · 26-30, F
@SomeMichGuy I’m so upset like….I just got a new job offer today and of course I was so happy and excited. I took it! I’m moving on with life like I know I should but….I can’t help thinking if I’ll ever see him again….and it tears me up inside like…..what happened?😞

I feel like it’s getting to the point where most people will just tell me to move on and forget him….My sister, my friend…they’re at the point where they don’t wanna entertain my concerns anymore… but I’m just sad because I have faith in him. He’s a good man, and he’s been good to me. I know I should forget about him for my sake but I don’t want to. I’m happy with the progress I’m making in my life but I still get times where I’m alone and I find myself teary eyed about him.😞
@Sb356 Well, it is still pretty fresh, and it means a LOT to you.

I guess I just think you should be...wise, prepared, aware of how this might turn out.

But yeah, it sucks, big time. 🥺🥺
Santi96 · 26-30
File a missing person report.
Have you considered sharing this with the police?
Sb356 · 26-30, F
@nonsensiclesnail I have the only reason why I haven’t is because the parents know about it and are suggesting that things are fine…..so I just don’t wanna cause them trouble or overstep boundaries. but the stories aren’t matching up so the whole thing just seems weird and suspicious. They know where he is but they just don’t want to share for whatever reason….
LunarOrbit · 56-60, M
@Sb356 Go thru the police. Don’t worry what anyone will think. You just want to make sure he’s alright.
Teirdalin · 31-35
Guessing he was probably robbed, killed and dumped somewhere.

 
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