I think grief sometimes comes late. Sometimes it just sits in your chest like a weight, and sometimes it sneaks up when you least expect it. You know, crying isn’t the only way to grieve, what you’re feeling right now is grief too. Your body is already carrying it, even if the tears haven’t shown up yet. They’ll come in their own time, maybe when a memory, a smell, or even silence opens the door.
I’m so sorry for your loss, and my heart is with you. 🫂♥

I'm the exact same as you, I cry at sad stories online, movies, and even music lol, but I go numb when something really sad actually happens IRL, like when my dog was put down or when my dad died.

I've always been this way, and I'm 33 years old now. I worried about it when my dad passed away, I wanted to feel something but couldn't for quite a long time. I was in distress, I was in a dark place mentally, but I couldn't cry or even feel sad about him. I finally felt grief when one day I saw a man walking with his daughter sitting on his shoulders, like my dad did with me when I was a child. After that the feelings of grief would come and go.

At this point in life, I have come to the conclusion that it's not really that strange, or even unhealthy. I believe the most important thing to realize for people who process grief this way, is to recognize that they still do grieve, even if it's not coming out as sadness. It still affects the person and causes stress, so it's important to give yourself time and space to process what's happened, regardless if you cry or not.

You take it as it comes. You should have no particular expectations of how grief will affect you and you shouldn't question yourself if it affects you in ways that you didn't expect. Some people crumble, some people barely react at all. We all process things differently and there are many contributing factors as to why that is. Sometimes we need to trust that our body and mind know what is needed and will guide us appropriately.

Not too different from what you describe. When my dad died it's like my mind didn't even know how to process that it even happened. Honestly I still have times where I feel that way. But I've definitely had my moments where it just smacks me in the face that he's gone and never coming back. Loss is so brutal for those of us left behind to face it.

I can relate. I didn't feel much for either of my grandmas until later. It seems to come like that.

When my dad passed away I immediately broke down in the hospital and screamed - cried, then I went numb, then I went into work mode to fix his funeral the way I wanted it, at his funeral I read a letter, told people my condolences, made small talk, laughed, then I went numb again.. I never really got to grieve because my ex wouldn't let me, so I put on a show and just pushed it down. And every now and then it breaks me for a bit..

I don't really know how to cope with death, it doesn't make sense to me how someone can just be gone forever..

I cry immediately when I learn that someone close died but I think it's normal and quite common to not be able to.
I actually feel like crying even if some complete stranger died but someone presents the information in a tragic way. I'm somehow weepy about the death topic in general if it gets under my skin.

When my Dad died I was at the funeral and someone commented that my Father was so funny. I thought, Oh Wow, I didn't even know the Man.

Sometimes, you're just in shock and your body just takes over and then when everything you need to do is accomplished it'll hit you then.
Sorry for your losses.
Grief is hard

I'm here for you all the way.

Big emotions can only be processed on their own time.

They were a long time growing - ergo they can be a long time processing🤷‍♀