How do you process the death of someone?

Whenever it's someone I know I get numb in the moment but then I get sad later, when my dad passed I was like that, I didn't cry until later, when my grandparents die I was like that, I didn't cry or feel anything until later..
Just now my aunt passed and I'm feeling numb. I want to let go of something and my chest is feeling heavy but I can't cry.. I just can't.

if it's a sad story online I cry on the spot but not when I know the person on a personal level. I cry later
Why, I want to cry. I want to let go of this emotion.